Paris Hilton does her best Tinkerbell impression in the new print ads for her latest fragrance, Fairy Crust Dust. It’s due to hit stores some time next month, so smelling like a cheap whore covered in glitter is only thirty days away! Interesting note about the ad: those little sparkly things floating around her are not actually bits of fairy dust. It’s what happens to crabs that have been exposed to the Paris Hilton’s crotch — they turn phosphorescent and gain the ability aerodynamically generate lift. Kinda like what happened to the Sand Man when he fell into that pit of irradiated sand in Spider-Man, only with way more genital itching.

With Benwah Madden at The Abbey in L.A. on Sunday: