The 42nd Annual Country Music Awards were last night, and I’m guessing you — like me — don’t really give a shit. But People Magazine thinks you do! They say:

Kenny Chesney earned the prestigious Entertainer of the Year award for the third year in a row on Wednesday. Four-time nominee Brad Paisley didn’t just host and perform at the ceremony – he was one of the night’s major winners, including Male Vocalist and Music Video of the year for “Waitin’ on a Woman.” The singer’s co-host, Carrie Underwood, was named Female Vocalist of the Year for the third year in a row.

I’ve tried to like country music — I really have — but I just can’t seem to do it. Frankly, the only way I could have found this show any more boring is if it also included a symposium on “The Effects of Agricultural Diversification on the Economic Structure of Uzbekistan” as performed by the cast of High School Musical 3.

Taylor Swift looking fantastic in Kaufman Franco:

Reese Witherspoon in Marchesa:

Carrie Underwood in Roberto Cavalli:

Nicole Kidman and faggy husband Keith Urban:

Shania Twain (hot) vs Faith Hill (NOT):

Jewel in Roberto Cavalli and Miranda Lambert:

The newly Asian Diana Degarmo:

Kellie Pickler in Zuhair Murad and Lee Ann Womack:

Country singer Faith Hill poses in a bikini for the first time ever on the cover of next month’s issue of Shape magazine. What gave her the bravery to take the “bikini plunge” at the ripe ol’ age of 41? Besides the 18 cumulative man-hours of Photo Shop, I mean? Why, Pilates, of course! People magazine quotes her as saying

“[Pilates] was so hard, but ultimately so worth it. My core is much stronger, and my arms are more toned. In fact, wearing a bikini on a magazine cover is my 41st birthday present to myself.

I [can] bend in ways I haven’t been able to since I was a teenager. My husband [Tim McGraw] loves it!”

Pretty lame birthday present to yourself, if you ask me. I would have bought myself some diamonds or a new Bentley or one of those Swedish massages from Juandíssimo the randy pool boy at the parlor on 7th. Something that says, “I might be old and obsolete, but I can still buy happiness!” See Hugh Hefner for details.

Without the 18 hours of Photo Shop three months ago — yikes: