Lady Gaga is all ready to put the cherry on her plastic parfait. That sounds a whole lot more disgusting than it needed to. Nine MSN says:

The kooky popster reportedly got envious of a waitresses’ fake boobs and wanted to a buy a pair of her own.

“I love your boobs! Are they real?” Gaga asked the waitress. “I really want to get implants too, I love false boobs.”

Gaga was apparently out to lunch with her lover Luc Carl.

“I’m not sure how Luc would feel about me getting my boobs made bigger,” she reportedly told the waitress. “He’s into real boobs, so that’s why he adores me so much.”

Yes, if there’s one reason to love Lady Gaga, it’s those spectacular real boobs up there. It’s not everyday God sculpts a flat tire filled with pudding and tries to pass it off as a breast. Better luck next time, Jesus!

Amy Winehouse had her new tits on full display as she left the Hawley Arms in Camden last night — but there’s gonna be more where that came from. The Daily Mail says

Amy Winehouse spent £35,000 on a breast enlargement [and] boosted her bust from a 32B to a 32D, but she’s is now said to be hooked on surgery and planning another breast enlargement and even bum implants.

‘Amy loves her boobs,’ a source [said]. ‘She thinks by having another operation and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.’

You’ve heard that expression “useless as tits on a boar?” What about “polishing a turd” or “lipstick on a pig?” I’d say all three apply here. Double for that turd one.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News