A fan is suing “rocker” Pete Wentz for allegedly kicking his ass at Fall Out Boy show last year. That would be Pete Wentz. Of Fall Out Boy. Ahem. The one in the eyeliner about to lock lips with another man in the above picture. TMZ says

According to the lawsuit, Andy Kallas claims he was watching the boys perform at Schuba’s Tavern in Chicago when Wentz and his [bodyguards] beat him to a pulp for several minutes. Kallas claims he suffered “serious injuries to his head, mouth and face.”

Kallas is suing both Wentz and the club for an unspecified amount in damages.

How does something like this happen? It doesn’t make any sense. I’d put my money on a blind kittycat on stilts before I’d bet on Pete Wentz to win a fight. Unless the fight was some kind of emotive poetry-off or a competition for World’s Biggest Vagina. Then all the chips would be on ol’ Petey.

At the airport with Ashlee Simpson April 18th:

Here’s Pete Wentz sitting in the sidelines with “girlfriend” Ashlee Simpson at the DirecTV Beach Bowl in Scottsdale yesterday. I figured he was just there because the low humidity in Arizona did wonders for his flat ironed hair, but it turns out he was actually there to sing or something. It was awfully brave of him not to bring a parasol or a strand of pearls with him to the game. I guess he could just clutch Ashlee while fanning himself with a lace kerchief or maybe touch penises with the guy sitting next to him when he felt the vapors coming on. Whatever it is that the emos do when they’re not overdosing on Ativan and skulking around in clothing three sizes too small. Namely crying during gym class and adjusting their scarves to look faggier.

¹_{And because he got to wear eye black, which is like eye liner times ten.}

Ashlee at her Super Bowl party at Myst on Thursday: