This video of Mischa Barton eating it on the steps of her trailer is funny, be it would be a lot funnier with some cartoon sound effects, like a slide whistle followed by a squelching noise and maybe a fart or two. So I found this sound effects soundboard and tried to figure out how to add the sounds to the video on my own. Unfortunately, the “Introduction to Windows ‘98″ course I took in college didn’t provide me with the necessary skills for online video editing. But if you want me to add a header and footer to your Word document or wrap text around a piece of Word Art, I’m your girl!
The only thing I like more than video of people falling down is video of people throwing up. Catching them throwing up while falling down is pure comedy gold, but my sister got all upset the last time I put her wedding video on the internet. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.
Joaquin Phoenix made his debut performance as a rapper in Vegas this weekend. It was, of course, the awe-inspiring performance you were expecting. The NY Daily News says
Phoenix, 34, walked right off the stage, falling flat on his rear following his unusual three song set. And brother-in-law Casey Affleck, [who is married to Phoenix's sister Summer] was there to capture it all. Affleck is filming a documentary to capture the actor’s transition to music.
“Transition” my ass. Try “side-stagger and face plant.” It’s like someone crossed Vanilla Ice with Bruce Vilanch and then repeatedly kicked it in the head before handing it a microphone.
BONUS: Footage of Phoenix wiping the fuck out (FF to the 36 mark) after the jump:
Walk the line, then bring your finger to your nose, put your hands behind your back:
Heavy rain caused Madonna to wipe the fuck out during her concert in Rio de Janeiro over the weekend (skip ahead to the 38 second mark to watch her eat it like a ball player stealing second!). The best part of the wipeout, though, isn’t the fall itself, but the recovery. No acknowledgment whatsoever that she just ate it in front of thousands of fans; instead, you get an unscripted leg lift and attempted sexiness from the floor. You know, a felled-deer-twitching-in-the-headlights kinda sexy. So instead of saying “oh, there’s my change!” or “this floor definitely appears to be a linoleum composite,” the next time you fall and want to play it cool, just spread your legs and roll onto your side, or mime sucking the dick of the umbrella-holder behind you. If it works for Madonna, it can work for you! Just like the cone bra and gimp mask.
