Lindsay Lohan’s brief foray into couture is over as quickly as it began — she has been fired as the artistic director of fashion house Emanuel Ungaro. According to Women’s Wear Daily

Lohan was not at the Ungaro show Monday morning, leaving chief designer Estrella Archs to take a solo bow.

“She’s not involved in this collection,” Ungaro owner Asim Abdullah told WWD backstage before the fall show, declining further comment.

Later in the day, Lohan turned up in Kenzo’s front row. Asked why she hadn’t been at Ungaro, she replied: “Because I don’t work for them anymore.” Prompted for more specifics, she noted, “There’s legal things going on; I can’t really discuss it.”

I didn’t realize being a talentless, clueless dirty whore was actually a legal issue nowadays. Good to know. You might want to see about getting your mom an attorney on retainer then, just to be safe.

UPDATE: Watch the E-Trade commercial for which Lindsay is suing for $100 million in compensatory damages after the jump. Not making this up.

In Paris for Fashion Week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online

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Katy Perry was front and center at the Louis Vuitton fashion show in Paris yesterday in this sexy little number. Rowr. Now, don’t speak French, but I think it’s pretty obvious “haute couture” must mean “massive cans.” Everything sounds fancier when you say it in the language of love.

Lindsay Lohan’s pairing with French design house Emanuel Ungaro didn’t go over so well with the critics at Fashion Week, but not to worry — it drew rave reviews from meth-addicted exotic dancers with bastard children. The Daily Mail says

The collection prompted only lukewarm applause when Lohan and [new head designer Estrella] Archs came out onto the catwalk after the show.

Fashion critics looked aghast at Lohan’s bra tops and stripper-inspired nipple pasties.

The thigh-skimming dresses in peach, hot pink and white [and] the sparkling nipple pasties flashing from underneath loose blazers were a reminder of Lohan’s own occasional wardrobe mishaps.

‘It’s not good to show your nipples so they should be covered,’ Lohan [said], referring to the heart-shaped pasties.

Lindsay Lohan thinks it’s “not good to show your nipples?” Am I taking crazy pills? What about this? Or this? Or this, this and this? It’s almost impossible to find a picture of Lindsay Lohan where she’s not showing her nipples. You know what they say — people who live in glass houses shouldn’t call the kettle black. Frankly, that’s just being racist.

Pics of her at the show, plus bonus video of her rapidly aging before your very eyes thanks to the magic of cigarettes and purging after the jump:

PHOTO CREDIT: Bauer-Griffin Online

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Well, I’ll be damned. You can do something with sheer red lace other than hang it from an antebellum whorehouse window. Scarlett O’Hara could really learn a thing or two from Lady Gaga.

“Performing” at New York’s Fashion Week yesterday, plus some of her drunk at the VMA’s afterparty:

Pamela Anderson showed up at the Vivienne Westwood fashion show in London yesterday in a cut-to-there dress, proving once again that she’s still got it. “It” of course being “the scabrous complexion of a truck stop hooker with HIV.” Lot lizards everywhere must be so jealous!

Victoria Beckham debuted a new short hair cut reminiscent of Halle Berry’s 2002 Bond girl ‘do at the Marc Jacobs show at Fashion Week in New York yesterday. Think kabuki-face Petunia Pig in a Frankie Valli wig. Grease is definitely the word here. I’d say the Pink Ladies just found their new Rizzo!