Remember when Lindsay Lohan announced that 6126, her line of leggings, would be expanded into a full collection?  And then remember when she promised LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!! for 2010?  Obviously, this was all headed straight for Disasterville, and the trainwreck arrived right on time.

From Us Magazine:

Sounds like Lindsay Lohan‘s New Year has gotten off on the wrong foot.

While celebrating 2010 on the island of St. Barth’s, the 23 year-old star discovered that she was ripped off by her longtime best friend and sidekick Patrick “Pootie” Aufdenkamp.

A friend close to Lohan tells UsMagazine.com, “Patrick stole Lindsay’s sketches for her new 6126 clothing line.” WWD reported Dec. 30 that Lohan’s 6126 leggings line would be expanded to become a full clothing collection for fall 2010; her role as artistic advisor for fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, despite a rocky start, is also ongoing.

Lohan tells UsMagazine.com that Aufdenkamp has been her “best friend” since she was 16. He has frequently been photographed with the actress, and was present at many meetings related to her new fashion line.

“He is now running off trying to do his own line,” a Lohan pal says incredulously, “And telling people he’s going to fashion market week in NYC on February 18 to debut his line.”

Adds the Lohan source, “It’s horrible. He was her best friend. He has always used her, and she’s been warned to never trust him. Lindsay is a good friend and likes to see the good in people. She didn’t want to believe how bad Patrick’s energy was, and how false his friendship has always been with her.”

Lohan herself spoke to UsMagazine.com exclusively about the sad incident. “I should’ve known better,” she said, noting that the friendship with “Pootie” has ended. “But new year for me and a new beginning! Health, happiness, success and love!”

A rep for Aufdenkamp could not be reached for comment.

If Lindsay expected anything better than this from a dude named Pootie then she’s even dumber than I gave her credit for.  But hey, on the plus side, this is super great news for fans of nipple pasties, saggy tank tops, ugly hats, and leggings with built-in kneepads and condom dispensers.  Y’all might just be treated to TWO designer collections this year!  I know it’s always been a dream of mine to own a pair of shredded, probably acid-wash jeans with a bedazzled “Pootie” on the pocket that cost as much as a car payment.  It’s like Christmas came twice!

If you’re wondering just what the holy hell a “Pootie” looks like, here’s your terrifying answer:

Oh look, it’s Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently in the midst of a Seussian psychotic episode wherein she thinks she’s the goddamn Cat in the Hat or some shit.  I fully expect to see this millinery monstrosity in the next edition of GOOP, probably listed at a price of about €850.

On her way to the gym (or possibly to an audition for Seussical: The Musical):

Leighton Meester went to the opening of Klutch nightclub in Miami last night, and she wore whatever the holy hell this thing is.  I can’t even figure out what’s going on here.  Are those ruffles?  Are they scallops?  I don’t understand.  It looks like someone folded an already-ugly dress into eighths and then went at with a scissors, the way little kids make paper snowflakes in kindergarten art class.  Did she buy this thing on Etsy?

Remember when Lindsay Lohan designed a collection for Ungaro, and it was pretty much the tackiest thing ever and ended up a colossal failure?  Well, apparently not everyone remembers, because someone is inexplicably letting LiLo expand her ridiculous 6126 line of leggings into a full collection for fall 2010.  From People:

Yesterday Lindsay took to Twitter to reveal that she would be expanding the collection beyond hosiery, saying, “i need MORE followers i am so sad about this, how can i tell everyone about my 6126 full collection COMING OUT! all clothing.” This morning, WWD confirms that the expanded collection will launch for fall 2010 and feature 100 pieces that range from $18 leggings to a $300 leather jacket. The following spring the line will grow even further, to encompass 150 items, including handbags, shoes, jewelry and cosmetics.

Wow, this is a great idea.  I’d actually be hard pressed to think of a better idea than to let an emaciated, homeless-looking space case make ugly rags for which I am expected to pay good money.  I noticed there are no plans for lingerie, though.  I guess Lindsay Lohan doesn’t believe in other people wearing knickers, either.  Maybe on the runway, the models will walk figure-eights around metal barrels full of burning bras.  Saggy tits are the wave of the future, yo.

This is Blake Lively on the set of “Gossip Girl” yesterday.  I’ve never seen an episode of “Gossip Girl”, because I’m not a junior high girl or a 39-year-old gay man, but I’ve seen a lot of pictures of the people on that show and it’s obvious to me that the wardrobe department hates them all.  Every last one of these fools is always dressed like a jackhole.  Just look at this butt ugly dress they’ve stuffed Blake Lively into.  She looks like Grey Gardens Barbie.

Blake clearly understands the best way to detract from a hideous outfit is to bring as much focus as possible onto your boobs:

Demi Lovato (who is totally a cutter) just refuses to quit it with these goddamn ridiculous sunglasses.  I thought I was pretty clear the last time we talked about these neon plastic pieces of shit, but apparently I was gravely mistaken, because Miss Lovato has seriously stepped up her aggressive game of retro fug with whitewashed, ripped-at-the-knees skinny jeans and a lace vest.  Where the hell does she shop for clothes?  1989?  I can only hope Miss Lovato is fucking with us, because there are only two other options.  Option A is that she’s just returned from an excellent adventure with Bill & Ted, and Option B is that she’s gone full retard.

Everybody knows you never go full retard:

Demi Lovato, fucking with us in her costume as a Def Leppard groupie:

I’ve been ignoring this whole Runaways movie business for awhile, hoping it would just magically disappear.  I’m not sure precisely where the flaw was in my master plan, but things went awry at some point and the movie version of The Runaways starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning is still happening.  Stewart and Fanning are currently undergoing “vocal training” in preparation for their roles as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, respectively.

I’m pretty sure that if you got a chimpanzee messed up on meth and put it on rollerskates with letters stuck to the wheels and then sent it skidding out into an oil slick, it could probably manage to stamp out a better idea than a movie starring a stoner Twilight retard and the little girl from Charlotte’s Web as the kickass chicks who sang “Cherry Bomb” and “Queens of Noise”.

Dakota Fanning arriving at a studio for voice lessons whilst playing dress-up in big girl shoes:

Kristen Stewart with her hair newly dyed black and cut in Joan Jett’s trademark shag:

Mr. Posh Spice David Beckham unveiled images for the new Emporio Armani fall/winter underwear campaign at Selfridges in London today.  I don’t really have a whole lot to add here.  Pictures of athletic men in their undershorts generally tend to speak for themselves, I feel.

Beckham for the Emporio Armani fall/winter underwear campaign:

Launching the new campaign at Selfridges in London:

Okay, I know I’ve said this before (repeatedly) but I don’t think I can ever say enough about how much I adore the way Posh is so completely out of her goddamn mind.  I honestly can’t tell you what’s going on in these pictures — I have no idea where Victoria Beckham thinks she’s going in a see through top with a tutu-ish skirt and the stripper version of ballet slippers — but I like to think that at some point it will involve a burlesque version of Swan Lake.

Leaving her hotel in London:

What the hell?  Listen up, Heidi.  I know you’re knocked up again and so you probably had to pull over on your way to this pediatric AIDS benefit event so you could puke up your breakfast on the side of the road and you’re exhausted and your back hurts and all you really want out of life right now is to lie in bed eating popsicles and watching stupid shit like She’s the Man, but you are a SUPERMODEL.  And not just any run-of-the-mill supermodel, either.  You’re goddamn HEIDI KLUM.  These saggy baggy jumpsuit shenanigans are just unacceptable.

At the “A Time For Heroes” carnival to benefit the Pediatric AIDS Foundation:

Here’s Hugh Jackman at LAX after flying in from someplace, and before you ask, I have no idea why he’s acting so totally unreasonable.  Why the hell does he have a shirt on?  Wolverine has no business wearing shirts, and I don’t even want to talk about that jackassy hat.

Arriving in LA wearing way too many clothes:

Dressed far more appropriately:

Wait, what?  I thought these bitches broke up last year?  Whatever.  Apparently they’re still happening, or re-happening or some shit, because here’s Drew Barrymore and Justin Long at a Green Day concert together last night.  Anyway, that’s not even really the point.  Let’s focus on what’s important here and talk about what in the holy hell Drew’s wearing.  I get that Drew’s all kooky and eccentric and generally very fond of dressing like it’s no later than about 1987 and it’s all just part of her hippy dippy charm, and that’s probably for the best because without all that she’d just be a mediocre actress with a speech impediment and abominable taste in men…

The hell was my point?  Oh, yeah.  The outfit.

Drew.  DUDE.  For serious, what are you wearing?  No, I mean it.  Look at yourself:

Is that a table cloth rigged together with a pair of my grandpa’s suspenders?  Why is there a gingham napkin wrapped around your neck?  And why is there a bird on the inside of your elbow?  Jesus, I hope that’s magic marker, because it’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen so I’d hate to think it won’t wash off.

The most reasonable explanation I can come up with for this situation is that Drew was at some sort of picnic, and she was high as a goddamn kite and she saw a pretty bird, and she really wanted a picture of the bird but she was so stoned that she forgot cameras had been invented, so she drew a picture of the bird on her arm, and then there was skinnydipping and some nefarious character came along and stole her clothes from the pile on the shore, and so she was forced to MacGyver an outfit for herself with the contents of the picnic basket.  She’s so resourceful!