May 26, 2011
The faggy kid was the big winner of American Idol’s tenth season, beating out the chubby girl in a star-studded crapfest that I didn’t bother watching last night because I was too busy huffing glue. The Daily Mail says:
With an astonishing 122million votes cast by viewers, there was no doubt that Scotty McCreery was the popular choice, with Lauren Alaina coming in second place.
‘I never in my wildest dreams,’ said an emotional Scotty, whose strikingly deep, old-soul voice defies his youth.
The religious 17-year-old then added: I’ve got to thank the Lord first… he got me here.’
The star-studded show featured performances from Lady Gaga, Bono, The Edge, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Judas Priest, Kirk Franklin, Jack Black, Tony Bennett, Carrie Underwood and Tom Jones.
Bono? Really, Bono was on American Idol promoting some Spiderman shit? And I thought I he couldn’t sink any lower than hawking Louis Vuitton man-purses for Marc Jacobs. That just goes to show you should never bank on artist integrity when there’s a dollar at stake. I think selling out just reached its zenith.
Lady Gaga and Jennifer Lopez performing (video of both, plus Beyonce & the female finalists after the jump):
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
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Jun 1, 2009
“Hairy Angel” Susan Boyle was admitted to Priory clinic in London yesterday for an “emotional breakdown” after losing Britain’s Got Talent to dance troop Diversity on Saturday. According to The Sun
The 48-year-old virgin… was rushed to the private clinic suffering from exhaustion.
Show aides had contacted police to say she was acting strangely at her London hotel. Paramedics helped the “spaced-out” star through the lobby and into an ambulance just after 6pm.
A Britain’s Got Talent spokeswoman said: “Following Saturday’s show, Susan is exhausted and emotionally drained. We offer her our ongoing support and wish her a speedy recovery.”
What could have left her so “exhausted” and “emotionally drained,” you ask?
Earlier, she had launched into a furious four-letter outburst when told her glittering stage costume had failed to arrive just 15 minutes before she was due to appear on stage… [and] sank into the arms of producers before starting to cry.
For the record, she wasn’t bleeding to death after a forced female circumcision or being marched at gunpoint into a mass grave; her sparkly dress was a little late for the singing show. If beating old people wasn’t such a cultural taboo, I’d give her a “dream to dream” with the back side of a tire iron.
The winners being announced on the show’s finale after the jump
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May 21, 2009
In case you missed it, the finale of American Idol was last night, and everyone’s all up in arms because that one gay dude didn’t win. NY Daily News says
Kris Allen managed to pull off the upset of a lifetime. Going into the finale, there was talk of “red state-blue state” politics at work, with [Adam] Lambert’s painted fingernails, “guyliner,” and uncertain sexuality against Allen’s down-home, churchgoing sensibilities.
Seriously, I couldn’t care less about this if it were swathed in Charmin and floating in my toilet. So instead, enjoy a video of “Bikini Girl” Katrina Darrell’s triumphant bikini-clad return last night, where she was joined on stage by judge Kara DioGuardi for a rousing rendition of Mariah Carey’s “Vision of Love.” And by “rousing” I mean “Katrina rips open her dress and reveals her bikini at then end.” It’s the only part of the finale that won’t make you want to stab your own eyes out.
