Kate Winslet reportedly saved billionaire Richard Branson’s 90-year old mother from a house fire on his private island in the Caribbean this weekend, but model Bar Refaeli and her Agua Bendita bikinis just saved you from having to look at pictures of Kate Winslet’s sad pancake titties. I think we both know who the real hero is here.

A model’s weave caught fire at Sean “Diddy” Combs Manhattan apartment earlier this week during a party celebrating the release of his Last Train to Paris album. Radar Online says:

The incident showed Diddy minion Kevin Hart emceeing the event in front of a bathtub surrounded by candles the dark-haired model was sitting in. When the model leaned back, her hair caught fire.

“Oh, oh, oh shit!” Hart said. “Did the camera catch that? Did the camera catch that? We put it out as quick as we could, I can honestly say.”

Diddy got the naked chicks in bathtubs and whores milling around aimlessly in bikinis, but he left out several key elements of the real-life rap video. Where is the brotha in Dior sunglasses making it rain dollar bills on a couple of writhing strippers? What about the guy rapping angrily as he squats down next to a gigantic bouncing ass in a g-string? Where’s the vintage car with the 22s? The Cristal? The Alize? For all intents and purposes, this might as well be a Whitesnake video. FAIL.

Us Magazine has footage of the infamous 1988 Pepsi commercial in which Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire, the supposed catalyst that sent him spiraling him into a lifelong addiction to painkillers that would ultimately lead to his death. The media dubbed it a “tragic accident.” I call it “God’s way of punishing you for having a jheri curl.” Or maybe “God’s way of punishing you for being a pedophile.” I’m no a priest or anything, but least one of those has got to be one of seven deadly sins.

Previously unseen pictures of Jackson showcasing needle marks and necrotic tissue in an ABC interview in 2002: