Ashlee Simpson’s suckitude seems to have no bounds — she’s just been fired from the CW’s “Melrose Place.” According to Star Magazine

Executive Producer Todd Slavkinoth confirmed that both Ashlee and her costar Colin Egglesfield will be leaving the series.

He added they took the news “like professionals,” saying: “When you go into a show you never know what’s going to evolve and what the possibilities are. But because they knew ahead of time [that leaving was a possibility], it wasn’t a complete shock.”

Their final appearances will be in January.

Well, the good news is that Ashlee is just as good an actress as she is a singer. The bad news is that Ashlee Simpson couldn’t sing her way out of a wet paper bag if it were floating down a river in the middle of a hurricane. And I don’t even know what that means. That’s just how much she sucks.

At the launch party for the series:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin

It looks like raging hateration just isn’t as rewarding as it used to be — Miss California Carrie Prejean got fired.  From TMZ:

We‘ve learned “biblically correct” Carrie Prejean will lose her Miss California USA crown today because she doesn’t play well with others.

Sources connected with the pageant tell us even Donald Trump has now had it with Carrie, because she’s violating her contract by not getting clearance to do her extracurricular stuff.

We’re also told Carrie has been a no-show for appearances she was supposed to make for the pageant organization.Trump told us Carrie refused to appear at around 30 events on behalf of Miss California USA. He says Prejean was contractually bound to appear and she just wouldn’t do it. He doesn’t think her attitude has anything to do with her politics.

Trump said: “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.”

Donald Trump is one of the biggest famewhores alive and would probably auction off his own children to a traveling circus if it garnered him any more attention or money, so this dumb bitch must’ve been unfathomably heinous to actually grate on his last nerve and make him get rid of her.  I mean really, just HOW BADLY do you have to treat people for Donald fucking Trump to call you out on your jackassy behaviour?

Don’t feel too sorry for ol’ Carrie, though.  She could probably get a job as a social secretary, maybe organising Klan rallies or some such thing.

Girls and KFC. Girls in underwear bathing in sink at KFC. Sounds like a too-good-to-be-true wet dream for some backwater trailer trash boy, doesn’t it? Enter three ambitious Kentucky Fried Chicken workers. NY Daily News serves up the dish:

Four months after a Burger King employee lost his job for taking a bubble bath in a restaurant sink, three scantily clad teens were fired when they turned a basin at their northern California KFC into their personal hot tub.
They landed in hot water with the chicken chain’s management when one of the bikini-clad dimwits made the same mistake as the Ohio Burger King employee - she posted photos of the dippy escapade on MySpace.
The photos included captions such as “haha KFC showers!” and “haha we turned on the jets,” and were filed under a gallery called “KFC moments,” according to the Record Searchlight newspaper in Redding, Calif.
The story broke before the unidentified girl could scrub public access to her profile. On her MySpace page, the girl listed herself as a 17-year-old worker at the Anderson KFC near Redding.
“I’m a KFC worker, they are my best friends and my family,” she said on her site.
The three were suspended Tuesday - and have since been fired, said KFC spokesman Rick Maynard.
“KFC has zero tolerance for violations of our operating standards, and our franchisee has taken immediate action by terminating the employees who were involved,” said Maynard.
An assistant manager told the Record Searchlight that no manager was on duty when the steamy photos were likely taken and that the trio closed the restaurant themselves.

Can you really blame them? I mean, what’s there to do in Redding? The Redding Rodeo comes only once a year, and I’m sure the competition is stiff to be selected as Miss Redding Rodeo. The opportunities to feel glamorous and express your blossoming sexuality can be pretty limited, so I’m sure the excitement of climbing practically naked into the same sink where greasy utensils and salmonella bacteria mingle is positively intoxicating. That or your skin is really suffering from the dry winter air and could use a good grease coating.

Actress Brooke Smith, who plays the newly-gay Dr. Erica Hahn on the ABC series Grey’s Anatomy, has been abruptly fired from the show, presumably because Grey’s Anatomy has gone too gay for prime time. According to E! Online

Insiders connected to the ABC series that some of the gay-themed storylines are being downplayed and even erased from upcoming scripts. Grey’s has included a prominent bisexual/lesbian storyline this season in the blossoming relationship between Hahn (Smith) and Callie (Sara Ramirez). The storyline will end in this Thursday’s episode, which will be Smith’s last appearance on the series.

But executive producer Shonda Rhimes denied the too-gay claims in the following statement:

“Brooke Smith was obviously not fired for playing a lesbian. Clearly it’s not an issue as we have a lesbian character on the show—Calliope Torres. Sara Ramirez is an incredible comedic and dramatic actress and we wanted to be able to play up her magic. Unfortunately, we did not find that the magic and chemistry with Brooke’s character would sustain in the long run. The impact of the Callie/Erica relationship will be felt and played out in a story for Callie. I believe it belittles the relationship to simply replace Erica with ‘another lesbian.’ If you’ll remember, Cristina mourned the loss of Burke for a full season.”

I believe another factor in the impromptu firing is that producers finally realized that “ugly” does not equal “ratings.” Tack on the word “lesbian” to “ugly” and you’ve got yourself a bonafide Nielsons disaster. Unless Grey’s planned on working in a storyline with the Elephant Man’s long-lost twin sister, I’d say Brooke Smith already reached the apex of her career rubbing lotion on its skin from the bottom of a well.

Now, for some not-ugly Vida Guerra ass-action:

Lindsay Lohan has been fired for the 4,398th time, this time dumped as the host of the 2008 World Music Awards. The Post-Chronicle says

The ‘Mean Girls’ star has been replaced by actress Denise Richards after organizers lost confidence in Lindsay’s ability to present the Monaco event next week.

At the 2006 awards, Lindsay, 22, messed up several of her lines and accidentally called Beyonce to the stage while she was still getting ready for her performance.

Too bad getting plowed by a bunch of coked-up losers and driving around piss-drunk and high isn’t a marketable source of income. Lindsay would be the new Steve Jobs. Hell, I’d be the next Warren Buffet. And not just because of my belief in value investing or my insight into the downfall of the “sharecropper society,” either. Because I’m a drunk armed with low-self esteem and birth control pills.

Lindsay in Hollywood yesterday:

New reason to watch ABC sitcom Ugly Betty: star America Ferrerra apparently loathed Lindsay Lohan so much that her guest role was chopped from the agreed-upon six episodes to only four. Oh, and it gets even better — America even made Lindsay cry on the set during rehearsals. Ha ha ha ha ha! According to Page Six

One episode, titled “Granny Pants,” was about how Lohan, playing Betty’s high school nemesis, would “de-pants” Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan’s pants instead. “Lindsay wasn’t wearing any underwear,” the source said.

But a Lohan pal fumed, “[Bullshit]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America’s fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn’t supposed to pull Lindsay’s pants down - but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying. America was mean to Lindsay. Lindsay didn’t do the last two episodes because America didn’t like her and got her kicked off.”

Lohan’s rep said, “Lindsay was scheduled for six episodes and is appearing in four but had a lovely time.”

This just goes to show you that fat girls, while unsightly and sweaty and downright nauseating at a buffet, can still serve a purpose. Ladies and gentleman, America Ferrerra!

Nursing her wounds at a fashion show in Tokyo yesterday: