What do you men look for in a potential mate? According to Kate Gosselin, birthin’ a litter and being a narcissistic camera-chaser should be high on that list. Says Popeater,

“Kate’s confidence is amazing,” an insider tells me. “She thinks she is a fantastic catch. Not only does she think she has never looked better, Kate also now has a ton of money. As far as she’s concerned, there is nothing not to like. She’s beautiful, rich and thinks of herself as very easy to get along with.”

Between looking after her eight children and taping her two shows, Kate doesn’t have the time to go out and meet guys. Even if she did, sources tell me Kate has no girlfriends with whom she could hit up the local bars and clubs. Instead the only place Kate does meets new men is when she’s doing media interviews to promote her show.

“Kate is constantly flirting with all the hot male reporters she meets,” a producer tells me. “She has a sparkle in her eye and gets all giddy when she’s bossing reporters around. At first, we thought she was happy because she was talking about herself. Then we realized she was looking for a date.”

Hyenas are another kind of predator that laugh, you know. That’s right before they attack and eat your steaming entrails.

At a Lady Gaga concert, taking pictures with Donald Trump (wtf?) and his duck-billed wife Melania:

Katy Perry is all in a tizzy because someone dared to suggest that she may have been getting cozy with Twilight star Robert Pattinson. Says NineMSN,

The wide-eyed popette was outraged to hear rumours she had been “flirting outrageously” with Twilight’s Robert Pattinson at an LA karaoke bar, after which she apparently left with him in the same car.

“Read a bunch of yesterdays news – B**LOCKS,” she Twittered.

“Ppl should know by now that I don’t do vampires, but I do DO @rustyrockets [Brand's Twitter username]. Don’t get it TWISTED!”

Now, I’m no squealing fan of Robert Pattinson, but I’d take it as a step up to be associated with him rather than oily-looking, hairy, looks-like-a-cult-leader Russell Brand. Plus the fact that he’s put his slimy sausage into every available orifice that he’s run across. He’s probably breeding his own special Brand of an STD. Brand-get it? Ha ha. I amuse myself greatly.