Can you think of anyone’s face who you’d like to see enlarged on a movie screen than Pete Doherty? Your dreams have come true, because he’s been cast in a period drama. Says Celebrity Fix,

Brave producers have cast the drug-addled muso in an adaptation of the French novel La Confession d’un Enfant du Siècle playing the womanising poet Alfred de Musset alongside Charlotte Gainsbourg as the female lead.

I suppose if you wanted someone to authentically look the part of a French citizen in the 1800′s, then you could do no better than Pete Doherty. Infrequent bathing? Check. Body odor? Check. Bad teeth? Check. A pale, diseased-looking appearance? Check check check. I’m only hoping that they have someone on standby to douse Charlotte Gainsbourg’s mouth with Listerine and one of those decontamination scrub-downs when she has to do a love scene with him.

Being forcibly removed from your home because you’re intent on killing yourself just isn’t the page turner it used to be. Just ask Mischa Barton! According to Page Six

A high-level magazine editor tells us Mischa’s publicist was pushing hard for his recently hospitalized client to land the cover on one of the celebrity weeklies. She didn’t. “As sad as Mischa’s recent problems are, what seems to be upsetting her representatives even more is that no one really cares,” said the editor.

It seems like nobody cares because no one does care. People would rather read about Robert Pattinson’s choice of hemorrhoid ointment than read about Mischa Barton’s goddamn sad feelings. At least Britney Spears had the good sense to shave herself bald and hold a minor hostage when she got dragged off to the looney bin.

Paris Hilton in FHM because even SHE is more interesting that Mischa Barton: