With all the naked “Not Blake Lively” we’ve had here lately, I thought it was time for a little change of pace. Something along the lines of this full-frontal naked photo of MMA fighter Tito Ortiz to cleanse our collective palate, if you will. TMZ says:

The photo surfaced [last night] — when it was uploaded to Tito’s personal photo-sharing website, which is connected through his Twitter page.

The photo appears to be a naked self-portrait shot with a cell phone.

Tito tweeted [shortly thereafter], “Someone hacked my fucking phone.”

Note to guys everywhere: if you’re gonna take a picture of your wiener — impressive though it may be — you don’t want to do it with a huge shit-eating grin on your face. It gives the same aesthetic effect of a retard who pulled down his pants on the bus because somebody told him to, but wasn’t quite in on the joke. You want to think more along with lines of Senior Portrait Pensive, or maybe a nice Blue Steel. Something that says, “I’m serious about my wiener, and you can be, too.”

Wife Jenna Jameson at Scott Disick’s birthday party last week:

More naked full-frontal pictures of an African-American female singer hit the interwebs today, but surprise, surprise — this time it’s not Cassie. Try “Rihanna” on for size instead. It’s definitely her, completely, gratuitously naked. Who ever could be responsible for this leak? Certainly not Chris Brown, because included in the bunch is a photo of him with panties on his head. Equally compromising in every sense of the word, right? No way he would violate his own privacy like that. It’s an airtight alibi! Oh, and speaking of airtighting…

Thumbnail links NSFW:

A full frontal photo of “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dalí in “Little Ashes” has found its way online, and dear God is it disappointing. To begin with, all you see are pubes, really, no actual wiener, and then there’s the fact that Robert Pattinson is downright revolting naked. He has the hips of a woman and the muscular definition of a wad of soft cheese. Dalí must have embraced doughnuts and Texas cheese toast as enthusiastically as he embraced surrealism.