More naked full-frontal pictures of an African-American female singer hit the interwebs today, but surprise, surprise — this time it’s not Cassie. Try “Rihanna” on for size instead. It’s definitely her, completely, gratuitously naked. Who ever could be responsible for this leak? Certainly not Chris Brown, because included in the bunch is a photo of him with panties on his head. Equally compromising in every sense of the word, right? No way he would violate his own privacy like that. It’s an airtight alibi! Oh, and speaking of airtighting…

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A full frontal photo of “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dalí in “Little Ashes” has found its way online, and dear God is it disappointing. To begin with, all you see are pubes, really, no actual wiener, and then there’s the fact that Robert Pattinson is downright revolting naked. He has the hips of a woman and the muscular definition of a wad of soft cheese. Dalí must have embraced doughnuts and Texas cheese toast as enthusiastically as he embraced surrealism.