Pink showed off a mysterious wienery bulge in her latex pants while performing in Glasgow on her Funhouse tour yesterday. Now, some of you are going are probably going to say that it’s just the lighting and the camera angle and not a penis at all, to which I would respond, “you’re a giant buzzkill and nobody likes you.” Fact.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

CNN personality Richard Quest was arrested in Central Park early Friday morning with a pocket full of meth, a boot full of dildo, and — most importantly — a rope around his neck tied to his wiener. The NY Post reports

Quest, 46, was arrested [for loitering] around 3:40 a.m. after a cop spotted him and another man inside the park. Aside from the oddly configured rope, the search also turned up a sex toy inside of his boot and a small bag of methamphetamine in his pocket.

It wasn’t immediately clear what the rope was for, [but] his unusual get-up didn’t lead to a lewdness charge because he wasn’t exposing himself. Quest’s unidentified companion was given a summons for not carrying any identification.

Not surprisingly, his dreams of creating a Central Park Marionette Theater were dashed when his “Lonely Goatherd” one-man revival was cut short by the arresting officers.