Victoria Beckham has stolen a page from husband David’s book by stripping down to her knickers for a new Giorgio Armani advert. Half-naked insect women must be 2009’s Birkin bag! The Sun says

Her… first ever underwear shoot [is] for the fashion house’s Spring Summer campaign. The 12 million modeling deal follows the huge success of David’s eye-popping Armani campaign last summer.

Only David did it much better. See, he’s an international superstar athlete with the body of a Teutonic god, and she’s a praying mantis with hideous fake tits and skin like a thirteen-year old boy. I could put a pair of cantalopes in a Cross-Your-Heart and hang ‘em from a stop sign and still it’d be more erotic than this shit right here.

Katie Holmes is breaking fashion ground by designing her own clothing label for Giorgio Armani — it’s the first time a haute couture fashion house has aligned with a non-professional designer. According to OK! Magazine

Mrs. Tom Cruise has indeed closed the deal for her first line, to be called Katie Holmes for Armani. The line will roll out over the course of the next two years, starting with a collection aimed at toddlers for spring 2009. A collection for older children will follow that fall, followed by a handbag line and a women’s collection by fall of 2010.

I wonder how much involvement Tom Cruise is going to have in his wifey’s new hobby. If he has his say, all the ladies’ blouses will come with GPS tracking devices and thetan-repelling overlay made of aluminum foil. “Katie Holmes for Armani” will be an uber-chic amalgamation of futuristic design, luxe textures and schizophrenic hobo swimming in the duck pond.

Katie without her choke chain and lead March 17th: