D-listers galore have spawned this week — “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” star Sarah Michelle Gellar, “Grey’s Anatomy” actress Ellen Pompeo, and sometimes-model-turned-Jude-Law’s-drunken-bootycall Samantha Burke all gave birth within the last four days. People magazine says

Sarah Michelle Prinze and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed their daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze on Saturday, Sept. 19. This is the first child for the couple.

They go on to say

Jude Law is a father – again.

Samantha Burke, the 24-year-old aspiring actress whom Law met while filming Sherlock Holmes in New York City last year, gave birth to a daughter Tuesday night.

And even more blahbitty blah blah blah:

It’s a girl for Ellen Pompeo!

The Grey’s Anatomy star, 39, welcomed a daughter, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery, on Sept. 15 in Los Angeles.

Ugh, the only way this post could be any more boring is if it were read aloud by Wilford fucking Brimley and somehow translated into bean curd and denture adhesive.

Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelley have officially adopted a 10-month old baby girl from Korea. They wrote on their foundation’s website

Katherine and Josh have named their daughter Nancy Leigh and she will go by the nickname Naleigh. She is named after Katherine’s mother Nancy and Katherine’s sister Margaret Leigh. Katherine, Josh and Naleigh are together and doing well.

Ugh, an Asian baby? Please. Those things are so 2005. Everybody who’s anybody knows that African babies are where it’s at nowadays. You’re better off sticking with a classic accessory like the Hermès Birkin bag or a nice pair of Stuart Weitzman boots. Unlike the Asian urchin, those things never go out of style!

After what seemed like years of being pregnant, actress Jennifer Garner finally popped yesterday. According to Us Weekly

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have welcomed another girl, their rep confirms. The baby was born Tuesday in Los Angeles and is healthy.

A smiling Garner was spotted being wheeled on a roll-away hospital bed as she was taken to her room. A blanket was draped over her, and it appeared that she was holding the baby.

Well, here’s hoping that the newest Garner-Affleck looks less like the bastard child of The Hamburglar and Chrissy from “Three’s Company.” Surely nature wouldn’t be so cruel as to deal the jack-o-lantern genes twice!

Jennifer hot as hell in a Sunday Magazine photo shoot for 2007’s “The Kingdom”: