Lena Dunham Frumptastic

FIRST PHOTO: The face you make right before you decide to watch an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

SECOND PHOTO: The face you make right AFTER you watched an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

THIRD PHOTO: The face you make while pondering the things you could have done with the hour you just wasted watching an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

So her clothes are vintage and from a tiny boutique in The Village so exclusive it doesn’t even have a name. Lena Dunham is frump incarnate. From the dowdy hair right down to her canvas shoes. I would actually cross a street to avoid walking past someone wearing those shoes and making those faces. I’d assume they had been let loose from a nervous hospital and probably just killed somebody with a lawnmower blade.

lindsy lohan girl gang robbery

A group of spoiled rich teenage girls living in Calabasas were arrested on late last week in connection with the robberies of Lindsay Lohan (here), Paris Hilton (here), Audrina Patridge (here) and Orlando Bloom (here) over the last year. People magazine says

Rachel Lee, 19, Diana Tamayo, 19, Courtney Ames, 18, Alexis Neiers, 18, and Nicholas Prugo, 18, launched into a year-long crime spree in which thousands of dollars of designer clothes, jewelry, bags and other luxury items were taken [from the aforementioned celebrities]. All fingers point to 19-year-old Lee as the alleged ringleader, who had an apparent fascination with Hollywood fashion.

The gang allegedly located the addresses of celebrities using Hollywood star maps and the Internet, and calculated when the stars wouldn’t be home based on their appearance schedules.

Giving the arrests another Hollywood twist, after Neiers posted bail, she was picked up by her sister, Playboy model Tess Taylor, who showed up at the jail early Friday morning with a camera crew in tow. Taylor and Neiers are the subject of a reality show pilot for E!.

My hard-hitting journalistic flair for truth makes it easy to cut through all the “background information” and “facts” in this story and get to what really counts: boobs. Namely, that one chick’s Playboy model sister’s boobs. I can almost smell the Pulitzer from here!

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