“Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere is front and center on the cover of the June issue of Glamour U.K., opening up on what it’s like to be a little person in a big world and pretending to be bisexual because nobody gives a rat’s ass about her. Hayden says

“It’s great to be single. It’s great to have boyfriends. Or girlfriends. There are occasions when you kiss your best friend growing up, having fun and goofing about. Like perfecting your technique.”

I don’t know why Hayden thinks that her sexuality is so elemental to her self-worth. She’s so much more than that. If only she could look inward and draw strength from the proud heritage of her people, like she did at the Battle for Helms Deep. “Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath!” Still her finest bearded role to date.