Pants-pisser Fergie raised eyebrows at the Glamour Women Of The Year Awards earlier this week when she debuted a new tubbier physique. According to the The Daily Mail

The 33-year-old [has] gained 13 pounds to play a prostitute named Saraghina in the upcoming movie musical Nine. She said, ‘I was actually told to gain weight for the film so… I’ve been eating chips, fried food, everything I usually avoid.’ Fergie [claims] most of the weight has gone to her breasts instead of her backside.

“Breasts?” Is that what the young people are calling it these days? In my day, we called it “bingo wings” and “Godfather jowls.” Kids and their crazy lingo!

Beauty and the Beast:

Lily Allen is apologizing for her drunken behavior at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards on Tuesday. She writes on her MySpace blog

“This time I’m putting my hands up, I got very drunk last night, too drunk. It’s not cool getting that drunk, I feel awful… Kids, drink responsibly or you’ll end up looking like this, not pretty!

I don’t know what the hell she’s talking about. No one I know ever accused her of being pretty. A grown-up version of that girl in your tenth grade English class that wrote cliched poems on her arms and refused to let grunge die its slow flannel death, yes. Tubby and party-hat nippled, yes. Pretty, no. Frankly, if she’s going to start apologizing, she might want to start with one of those other ones first.

Nursing hangover before going to the Royal Academy of Arts summer exhibition party: