I appreciate the whole see-through thing Blake Lively was going for at last night’s 100th Episode Celebration of “Gossip Girl” (really? a hundred?), but that dress is just awful. The only way you’re pulling off a see-through aquatic-themed tasseled gown is if you’re name is Johnny Weir.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Blake Lively is no Bar Refaeli, and it looks like Leonardo DiCaprio finally wised up to it. It took him approximately four months and 29 days longer than I thought it would, but I guess that’s beside the point. They’re over. Us Magazine says:

After five months together, Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio have parted ways, reps for both stars confirm. The pair “remain friends,” Lively and DiCaprio’s reps added.

The pair’s recent split is sure to come as a surprise to some DiCaprio pals, one of whom told Us they’d “never seen him like this with a girl.” Back in June, the couple were ensconced in DiCaprio’s L.A. home, where Lively “spent the whole time baking… Leo’s never dated a girl who can cook. And he’s smitten!”

I can understand why he dumped her. Everybody’s already seen her naked. It’s just not as exciting anymore if everyone else gets to do it, too.

Blake filming Gossip Girl last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Uber-bad-girl Taylor Momsen stopped suckling at Satan’s teat long enough to get herself suspended from her crappy show Gossip Girls. Us Magazine reports,

The increasingly controversial 17-year-old actress will begin an “indefinite hiatus” from Gossip Girl following next Monday’s episode, sources tell Deadline. Reps for the CW and Warner Brothers declined to comment.

Momsen has played Jenny Humphrey, kid sister to Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) since the CW soap debuted in 2007. Although a series regular, she has only appeared in three episodes so far in the current fourth season.

“She only does [the show] for the money,” a source explains to UsMagazine.com “She works hard on Gossip Girl but doesn’t care about the plot or the other cast members. She treats it like a 9-5. No emotional investment.”

Momsen, who also fronts the rock band Pretty Reckless, has grown up since her big-screen debut at age 7 as cute Cindy Lou Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas — raising eyebrows with her skimpy, intensely Gothic wardrobe, notoriously foul-mouthed interviews and angry, age-inappropriate antics.

The new Us Weekly even reports that, for her Oct. 21 Pretty Reckless concert at NYC’s Don Hill’s (in which she flashed her breasts to the crowd) Momsen had a startling request: “Her rider included a full bar in her dressing room,” an insider told Us. “That was rejected — she’s underage!”

Somehow I don’t think she got herself suspended for not being “emotionally invested”. I’m thinking a little less “not emotionally invested”, and more “blowing everyone on set, including gaffer Bob’s Chihuahua”. That seems more up Taylor’s sleazy little alley.

With her The Pretty Reckless bandmates at MTV European Video Awards in Madrid:

I tried to think about something I cared less about more than “Gossip Girl’s” Blake Lively and Penn Bagdley breaking up, and the best I could do was the effects of weather patterns on boll weevil diapause. Unfortunately, that’s still way more interesting than this shit. Star Magazine says:

The romance between Gossip Girl costars Penn Badgley and Blake Lively is over.

After nearly three years together, the blonde beauty wanted more from her hunky costar — specifically [marriage] — and at just 24, Penn wasn’t ready to make that commitment.

“Blake comes from a traditional Southern Baptist background, and she’s always had her eye on getting married and having lots of children,” the friend tells Star. “The pressure on him to settle down at such a young age finally reached the point where he realized he and Blake couldn’t get on the same page, timing-wise, about starting a family.”

Also, at some point I’m sure he realized making a family would entail actually putting his penis in her vagina, and no way that was happening. He needs someone with a strong chin and a swimmer’s build and a whole lot more waxed testicle where the lady parts should be.

Thank God she has boobs, or this post would have been a total waste:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I’ve never actually watched an episode of Gossip Girl, mostly because I don’t give a shit about the “scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite” or teenagers in general. But that’s all about to change now that I’ve seen these pics of Blake Lively. Really, who am I to say the day-to-day challenges of the privileged and self-entitled can’t resonate with Middle America in today’s faltering economy? Who am I to let the clichéd plot and nonsensical character development get in the way? I think it’s time I finally embraced what this show is truly about… and then motorboat them.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online

Taylor Momsen is halfway famous for a few things: she’s on that “Gossip Girl” show, she wears waaaay too much makeup, she dresses like a hooker even though she’s only 16, and she likes to pretend she’s “hardcore.”  Basically she’s Avril Lavigne, except she’s American instead of Canadianesian.  Apparently, Taylor Momsen would also really like to be famous for running her mouth off and sounding like a stupid asshole.  From OK! magazine:

While the rest of the world is expressing their concern for the people of Haiti while they struggle to recover from the 7.0-magnitude earthquake that has taken the lives of hundreds of thousands and left many more without food, shelter or medical care, Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen tells OK! that, well… like, she’s just too busy right now to even pretend to care about the situation.

Last night, OK! caught up with the leggy teenager at the Victoria’s Secret store in NYC’s SoHo district, where she was promoting her new fragrance, Love Rocks. And when asked if she’s planning to follow the lead of stars like Wyclef Jean, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who are making high-profile donations and pleas for help, Taylor told OK!, “Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

But before you think she’s both clueless and heartless, Taylor added, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”

One topic Taylor could talk about more easily discuss was her new scent. “Well, I like that the scent is a little bit tougher than a lot of the other Victoria’s Secret scents that have been out,” she explained. “Ya know, it’s just a little bit more masculine which I like a lot. And the packaging looks really pretty on a vanity I think. And I like the little spray, what’s that called? An atomizer. I like the little atomizer.” So she knows what an atomizer is, but can’t manage to act like she cares about one of the biggest catastrophes in recent history. Good to know she’s got her priorities straight!

I love how OK! magazine is pretty much straight-up calling her a vapid piece of shit.  Look, I get that Taylor Momsen is 16, and that excuses a certain degree of youthful stupidity, but this is ridiculous.  She was asked about a horrific tragedy which devastated an entire country, and she answered by pimping her album and her show and saying she doesn’t give a shit about all those people who died.  I might’ve just considered her willfully ignorant had she answered by saying that she doesn’t know where Haiti is and she doesn’t watch the news or know how to read so she can’t offer an opinion on the subject.  I’d at least give her points for honesty, then.  But what she did instead was attempt to imply that she’s too busy and important to think about other human beings, even for the time it takes to utter one sentence.  What a useless little assclown.

Also, I’d like to know what the HELL Victoria’s Secret is thinking, partnering with a 16-year-old on a fragrance?  They’re a lingerie store, for Christ’s sake, and she’s a CHILD.  A child wearing a nightie.  In public.  As a dress.  She’s got on so much makeup that she looks closer to 34 than 16.  That’s creepy and disgusting.  Also seemingly disgusting: this perfume.  The setup they’ve got going here, with the cheesy rock ‘n roll theme and a kid dressed up like a stripper, just makes me think this perfume will smell like cigarettes, whiskey-sweat and pedophilia.

Taylor Momsen at the NYC launch of her new Victoria’s Secret perfume:

“Gossip Girl’s” Leighton Meester spreads ‘em in a leather basque zipped down to there in next month’s issue of GQ magazine. Well, I assume it’s a leather basque. It might just be an old timey do-it-yourself Brazilian bikini waxer, or “boyfriend with braces” as it became known in the mid-1970′s.

Nobody watches Gossip Girl no matter how much they push the envelope or gay it up. Point in question: Hilary Duff and Jessica Szohr’s “lesbian kiss” on Monday night’s episode. You won’t find word one about it in any magazine. I’m sure some outraged parents sent in a few spittle-flecked emails to the CW, but everybody knows that what old people say doesn’t count. Besides, I’m pretty sure I’ve kissed my own stepmother with more erotic verve and passion. And no, I don’t want to talk about it. It was late night and I had been drinking, okay? Who are you to judge me?

Six screen caps here; four more after the jump:

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“Gossip Girl’s” Ed Westwick showed off two brand-new tattoos yesterday, and I already know what you’re thinking — who the hell watches fucking “Gossip Girl?” Well, based on my research, 14-year old girls, gay male adolescents, and people who turned it to the CW early Monday night because “One Tree Hill” was coming on next and they didn’t want to miss it. My research also indicates that Ed could have just tattooed “faggot” and “asswipe” on either shoulder and still got his message across, but with half of the needle time. Lean Six Sigma can suck it!

Looking like a giant queef on the Gossip Girl set last week:

This is Blake Lively on the set of “Gossip Girl” yesterday.  I’ve never seen an episode of “Gossip Girl”, because I’m not a junior high girl or a 39-year-old gay man, but I’ve seen a lot of pictures of the people on that show and it’s obvious to me that the wardrobe department hates them all.  Every last one of these fools is always dressed like a jackhole.  Just look at this butt ugly dress they’ve stuffed Blake Lively into.  She looks like Grey Gardens Barbie.

Blake clearly understands the best way to detract from a hideous outfit is to bring as much focus as possible onto your boobs:

Like any good C-list celebrity looking to improve her internet notoriety, Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester has a sex tape that’s about to hit the interwebs (click header image for NSFW screen caps). The best part? The tape reportedly stars her “very talented feet.” I’m thinking something along the lines of a big toe in somebody’s asshole. Gross. According to TMZ

Spotted … “Gossip Girl” star Leighton Meester having sex with her BF… on video. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes — with several big exceptions … one involving her very talented feet.

We’re told a company called celebhotline.com is negotiating for the video. The company’s spokesperson, Kevin Blatt told us, “We’ve seen the tape and we’re hoping to close the deal.”

For the record, Leighton was conceived while her mother was in prison and her brother took turns raping cadets at the Air Force Academy a few years back, so this girl practically has “sexual deviant” written all over her. Kinda like I did that time I passed out at that freshman mixer, only without any of the Sharpie swastikas and giant penises on her face.

UPDATE 1: The Torrent link I initially put up doesn’t work, but you can download her sex tape for free here and here (official site here). Thanks to Karena and Deres for the links!

UPDATE 2: I assumed it went without saying, but 99.99% of all “free porn” on the internet is rife with viruses and spyware, including the downloads from the links above. That’s why it’s fucking free. Either buy it legit from the official site or make sure your anti-viral software is up-to-date before you attempt to download. Welcome to the magical world of “the internet!”

In InStyle magazine’s hair issue:

If you had any doubts that Blake Lively got breast implants, you can put them to rest now. If her tits were any further apart they’d need separate zip codes.

CW11 Upfronts at Madison Square Garden: