So, remember how everyone was shocked and appalled to find out that straightlaced Tiger Woods was actually a deranged sex maniac? It turns out that it really wasn’t so surprising, and he’s just been hiding his freak light under a bushel for over a decade. From the NY Daily News:
Showing off his guns and abs and glaring at the camera, Woods looks nothing like the good guy of the greens in the Annie Liebowitz shot gracing the February cover of the latest issue of Vanity Fair.
The menacing shot – never before seen – was taken in January 2006, long before the world learned the married father of two cheated on his wife with as many as a dozen women.
In the accompanying article, Buzz Bissinger interviews some of the reporters who covered Woods for years to find out how the golf great kept his catting around under wraps for so long.
Bissinger also revisits the embarrassing interview that a then-21-year-old Woods gave to Charles Pierce of GQ magazine in 1997. Woods joked about lesbian sex and the endowments of black athletes – the kind of gaffe he never repeated once he signed with super agent Mark Steinberg.
Really? How embarrassing could it have been? Oh wait, hang on to your hats. From Us:
At one point, Woods said during the tape recorded interview: “What I can’t figure out is why so many good-looking women hang around baseball and basketball. Is it because, you know, people always say that, like, black guys have big dicks?”
Bissinger notes that during a photo shoot — “where four women attended to his every need and flirted with him as he flirted back” — Woods told a joke. He rubbed the tips of his shoes together and then asked the women, “What’s this?” Woods then replied. “It’s a black guy taking off his condom.”
Woods also cracked that lesbians are “faster” at sex than gay men because women “are always going 69,” Bissinger notes.
Bissinger writes that the interview “was the only honest and open one Woods has ever given. After that the steel wall of insulation came down, spearheaded by I.M.G.,” his agency.
Okay, that’s pretty goddamn embarrassing, but meh, whatever about all of that. It ain’t news that Tiger Woods is a philandering asshole. What I wanna talk about is why Annie Liebowitz apparently photographed him during a prison yard workout. Also, EW, GROSS. Put your shirt back on, Tiger. There’s something strange and off-putting going on with your moobs, you’ve kinda got a gut, and your nipple hair tufts are freaking me out. You look like my grandpa, and he’s about 190 years old and I’d rather scoop out my eyes with a melon baller than see him with his shirt off.
Anyway, the NY Daily News article goes on to say that Tiger’s wife, Elin Nordegren, is currently off frolicking in the French Alps, avoiding his ass and writing up Excel spreadsheets detailing the many, many ways in which she will be spending his money in the years to come.
