We’re smack dab in the middle of the Christmastime news slowdown, people. No one’s slipping any nipple, no one’s really misbehaving, NOTHING’S FREAKING HAPPENING! So, here’s a really random, really creepy video of some guy made of himself making out with a Hannah Montana towel courtesy of Buzzfeed. In it, the man “undresses” the Hannah Montana towel, feeds her pre-chewed chocolate, makes out with her, and ends by washing her in the sink, all set to the tune of Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares”. It’s almost too gross and creepy to watch, but it was either this or reading about Jon & Kate Gosselin finally getting divorced. After watching this video, you might want that story instead.