Mischa Barton is a Serious Actress, y’all.  She is a master of her craft.  Why, she’s almost as talented as an average preschool student with a bit part in the class play!  From Radar Online:

Mischa Barton has been filming a guest spot on the hit NBC crime show Law & Order: SVU but she hasn’t been winning any friends on set. According to a source, Mischa spent all day Tuesday flubbing her lines and the show only shot one scene the whole day – which turned into a 10 hour day because of Mischa’s mistakes.

“She only had seven lines, seven!” the source told RadarOnline.com exclusively about the recently out of rehab actress’ problems with her lines. “Each time she would mess up she would forget her lines and Mariska kept prompting her and saying ‘it’s your line Mischa’.”

According to the source, Mariska Hargitay and the cast and crew on set were losing patience with Mischa’s “unprofessionalism.” To her credit, the actress did apologize, saying “Sorry,” each time she missed her lines.

Oh, well, as long as she says she’s sorry then I bet everyone’s just fine with her being uselessly retarded.  That’s how it always works out when I get so drunk that I vomit at random on passersby and police officers.  When I drool and say “Urp… sorry,” they all just smile and shrug and then bust out with a song-and-dance routine about togetherness and understanding.  At least I think that’s what happens, but I’m usually passed out by that point, so it’s anyone’s guess really.

On set filming her Law & Order episode:

If there’s one thing fat girls never let get in their way, it’s a lack of forks and spoons. Or dignity. Case in point (via Page Six)

At Mischa Barton’s 23rd birthday party at Meatpacking District hot spot SL on Sunday night… the staff surprised Barton with a huge birthday cake but neglected to bring out utensils. By the time waitresses returned with forks and knives, the starlet and her friends had already devoured much of the cake with their bare hands.

If I were a fortune cookie, I’d say “Elastic waist pants and chafing powder are in your future. Lucky numbers 10, 64, 7.” But we all know Mischa would probably just have eaten the little paper inside, because breaking open a cookie to read something is just a waste of valuable chewing and swallowing time. Just one more reason to be thankful you’re not a Chinese dessert.

More of her as a prostitute on Law and Order: SVU:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online

Hello my pretties, it’s Sarah again.  Abby was supposed to be back from vacation today, but she hit a big of a snag at customs… something about checking in too much luggage and needing permits for the ladies in kennels.  I don’t know.  It’s such a bloody hassle trying to smuggle in Russian prostitutes as mail-order brides these days, you know?  Hey, speaking of hookers, here’s Mischa Barton on set for her guest appearance as a prostitute on “Law & Order SVU”:

Kim Kardashian will be making a guest appearance on the new blink-and-its-canceled Fox sitcom “Brothers.” People Magazine says

In the episode, set to be filmed in a few weeks and to air in October, the reality star plays herself as she confronts former football star Michael Trainor – played by real ex-New York Giant Michael Strahan – about rumors that the two have enjoyed a secret tryst.

This would be one of those cases of art imitating life if only there were more pee involved. Something to think about, Fox! People just love irony.