Would You Rather Kerry Wahshington or Diane Kruger

“Would you rather” is a classic game in which two worst-case scenarios are pitted against each other and you must choose one of the options, no matter how terrible it might be. For example, “Would you rather slide down a banister of razor blades into a pool of Texas Pete, or slide down a banister covered in Texas Pete and land in a pool of razor blades?” The new celebrity beauty trend of putting colored crap in your hair naturally lent itself to this game, because every way you slice it, it’s bad. Unless you’re thirteen or a blood relative of Rainbow Brite, you’re not pulling this look off.

Sooo… would you rather dip-dye your ends like Diane Kruger, or clip-in some color a la Kerry Washington?

Lindsay Lohan continues to play the part of wronged, upstanding citizen and hopes that a court of law will believe the same thing too. With the way the justice system has treated her already, she’s got a good shot at it. She currently has her panties in a knot over a lyric by rapper Pitbull. TMZ tells the sad story:

Lindsay Lohan has just sued the rapper Pitbull for a line in his mega-hit, “Give Me Everything,” for a disparaging lyric about her.

The song — written by Ne-Yo and Afrojack, also defendants — has a line:

Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’
I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay is pissed, claiming in her lawsuit … “the lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff.”

Lindsay, who claims in the lawsuit she is “a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild, is suing under the New York civil rights laws, which protects people from having their name exploited for commercial purposes.

Lindsay alleges the appearance of her name in the song “causes [Lindsay] to be associated and identified in connection with defendants.”

The suit — filed by Stephanie Ovadia — seeks an injunction to stop all of the defendants from broadcasting the song. It also seeks unspecified damages. Ovadia is the same lawyer who filed the E*TRADE lawsuit on Lindsay’s behalf, which settled for a confidential sum.

I can only hope her day in court is like one of those dream sequences, where the plaintiff starts reading the charge and starts cracking up when he gets to the part “…a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild…” and then the whole courtroom busts up laughing, and the judge is cracking up and pointing his finger at her, and she breaks into a cold sweat, but instead of waking up, it’s all true and she gets her ass laughed all the way out the door. What? I can dream, can’t I?

Take a gander at that beautiful head of hair:

Paris Hilton is facing a $35 million dollar lawsuit from a hair extension company that claims she violated her contract by not promoting their product. Note to self: “stank” and “wonk” must be way more marketable than I first thought. TMZ says:

Hilton got just over $3.5 million since agreeing to become the spokesperson for Hairtech International’s Dream Catcher hair extension line in 2007.

But according to the docs, Paris didn’t satisfy her end of the bargain — Hairtech claims she was “seen in magazines and on television not wearing [their] hair extensions and was in fact wearing competitors’ hair extension products.”

Hairtech also claims she screwed them over when she went to jail in June 2007 — because Paris served her time when she was supposed to be at a very important launch party for the hair extensions.

“More than 600 hair extension professionals” were scheduled to attend at the party — but because Paris couldn’t make it, they lost opportunities which should have resulted in $6.6 million in revenue.

Now, Hairtech is accusing Paris of fraud and deceit — and claims they ultimately lost $35 million because of her actions.

Look, I hate Paris Hilton as much as the next guy, but this is the kind of quality product Hairtech International was cranking out the last three years. It’s called “The Bandit,” for chrissakes. The only way that company could have raked in $35 million off their broke-ass weaves is if they also accepted payment in WIC checks and crack cocaine.

If you want a luscious mane like Miley Cyrus’, be prepared to sell off a kidney, because it’s gonna cost you a goddamn fortune. Or you could always wait until a particularly large wad of seaweed washes up on the shore and get it for free. I doubt anyone would notice the difference. According to the Daily Mail:

The star appears to be gaining a reputation for being just a little high maintenance.

She recently spent an impressive $24,000 on new hair extensions.

Miley is said to have had extensions flown from Italy to New York’s Gemini 14 salon, at which point stylist Kristina Baricelli flew with the extensions to Los Angeles, where they were finally put on.

You could do a lot with twenty-five grand other than gluing it to your head. Like a whole year of college, for example. But I think the Cyruses have made it very clear that they don’t need no edumacation or fancy book-learnin to get ahead in this life. That’s huccome they gots the TV and Twitter.

Nice muscle shirt:


Boy, the bass guitarist for Cinderella has really let himself go. You can almost smell the pee and regret from here.

Mischa at an L.A. drug store yesterday, where she probably washed up in the bathroom sink and rummaged through the trash can for usables:


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