Coco is a great visual reminder that you can’t spell “classy” without the word “ass.” You also can’t spell “assertoric” without the word “ass,” but I don’t really see how Aristotlean logic ties in with anything here. Let’s try and keep it relevant, people.
One more of her other S&M outfit and a week’s worth of Twitter pics:
Here’s desperate attention-seeker Kim Kardashian skanking it up in another Disney costume for Halloween, this time as Snow White from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.” But Kim doesn’t look like the Snow White I remember from the classic Disney movie. She looks more like that chick from “Blow White and the Seven Whores” — Easy, Gropey, Cock, Horny, Anal, and Humpy. There wasn’t a whole lot of whistling while they worked, as I recall. Mostly just screaming and moaning and the occasional gagging noise.
♫”I can show you the world”♫… or you could just show me your tits. I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing anyone really cares about seeing here.
Kim Kardashian as “Aladdin’s” Jasmine for Halloween:
Now that she’s had a change of heart and decided to embrace her Latina roots, Jessica Alba dressed up as Dora the Explorer for Halloween. Just one of many “eh-strong Latina woman” costumes from which to choose if you’re a girl of color, I’m sure. Like, um… let’s see… well, there’s Rosario from “Will and Grace.” She’s one. And that midget from Fantasy Island, whats-her-name. (On second thought, that might have been a man. I don’t think anybody really knows for sure.) Oh, and Charo, right? I almost forgot about Charo! Cuchi-cuchi! See, there’s a ton of options. Good for Jessica for trouncing the traditional demeaning Latina eh-stereotype.
Jessica Alba as Dora and husband Cash Warren as Diego:
Kate Beckinsale as Adam Ant:
Helena Christensen as a painter’s palette:
Brooke Shields in a Cleopatra flapper wig as… her daughter’s pimp? I don’t know:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
Now here’s a costume that’s all trick and no treat! The trick of course being “an enormous shoehorn and two industrial-sized tubs of Crisco.” Mariah would have made a much more convincing Huttese crime lord or Outer Rim gas giant.
Cheesah beecha wonky Chewbacca:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
Even MORE of Fatty Fatty Fat Fat after the jump!
If you’re thinking to yourself, “Boy, Paris Hilton never looked so believably feminine,” you should know that the Paris on the left is actually her boyfriend Doug Reinfarthardt dressed as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.” The one on the right is the real Paris. I was stunned, too! The Daily Mail says
What could be more frightening than the thought of Paris Hilton dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? Easy. Her AND her boyfriend dressing as Dorothy.
The heiress, and her man Doug Reinhardt, both wore blond pigtails, dresses and red high heels for Hilton’s Halloween house party in LA last night.
The best part is, the both share the same shoe size. And bra size. And Zovirax prescription. I bet that made shopping for costumes a breeze!
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin
More pics of Slutenstein and company after the jump
There are reports this morning that Mel Gibson’s mistress Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to his bastard child. Mazel Tov! Maybe they’ll call her “Sugartits.” Radar Online says
It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad!
Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl.
And because Mel’s Russian lady-friend looks like she should be trolling the shores of a lake looking for children to boil in her cauldron or bake in her gingerbread oven, here’s Gwen Stefani dresses as Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl from Toy Story 2. Or possibly as anybody from Texas. It’s kinda hard to tell the difference most of the time.
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online
Bonus footage of Ellen DeGeneres scaring the crap out of Taylor Swift after the jump.
Since tomorrow’s Halloween, it just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t post a couple pictures of a celebrity in costume. Unfortunately, all the good parties won’t be until the weekend, so this is all I could scrounge up for today: Tyra Banks as a Kardashian on her show and as Kate Gosselin in Star Magazine. Bo-ring. Whereas I will be wearing a pair of fangs and two flesh-colored garbage sacks stuffed with disproportionate amounts of dry leaves around either side of my neck because I’m going as Count Sac-ulaTM for Halloween. Consider the Dick in a Box costume owned!
PHOTO CREDIT: Nine MSN
When I was nine, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. Miley Cyrus’ little sister Noah is apparently going with “coccinellid cocksucker” and “child prostitute with progeria” for her All Hallow’s Eve festivities. Perhaps Billy Ray will be taking her trick-or-treating at a local penitentiary or a hostel for registered sex offenders. There’s only so many good “back of an unmarked van’s” to hit up in any given neighborhood on Halloween, you know!
Now with even more kiddie-porn flava after the jump!
Victoria’s Secret supermodel Heidi Klum threw her 9th Annual Halloween Party in New York on Friday dressed as the multi-armed Indian god Shiva. As always, she had the best costume there. The only way that costume could kick any more ass is if it also included eight boobs and maybe a functional jet pack.
Halloween exists for two purposes:
1. Eat a shit ton of candy
2. Dress like a slut, go to a party, act like a whore and get wasted
Celebrities are firm believers in upholding these timeless traditions (or at least #2), and this year is no different. Here’s a Halloween 2008 Slutty Costume Roundup.
Kim Kardashian’s ass dressed as Wonder Woman at some masquerade yesterday:
Heidi Montag and that toolshed she hangs around with dressed as attention-craving retards:
Kendra Wilkinson as — wait, is this a costume? I can’t tell:
Mariah Carey and her wife, Nick Cannon, dressed as cookies & milk (because they’re idiots) at their costume party at Marquee in NYC yesterday:
Mariah Carey and her wife, again — this time dressed as “sexy firefighters”:
Traci Bingham as Officer Boobage yesterday:
Shauna Sand dressed as… an orange whore (I guess) on Oct. 25th:
Ali Lohan and mom Dina arrived at the Animal Fair magazine Halloween Pet Costume Contest yesterday looking like a couple of forty-something cocktail waitresses who just got off the night shift at the local strip club. Ali was in a costume, my guess as “Barb Wire” or “Former Chippendale,” but The Sun says differently:
The 14-year-old turned up in a strangely half-hearted kitten outfit — skintight black leggings, a midriff revealing top and a sheer white top. Her outfit was topped off with a pair of cat’s ears and for some reason, a bow tie.
A kitten! Riiight. Because cats are big into mesh and cheesy tattoos and suffer from premature aging and low self-esteem. Just another visible reminder of why you should spay or neuter them. Or, you know, at least hold their head underwater until they stop making shitty pop albums.
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