If you’re thinking to yourself, “Boy, Paris Hilton never looked so believably feminine,” you should know that the Paris on the left is actually her boyfriend Doug Reinfarthardt dressed as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.” The one on the right is the real Paris. I was stunned, too! The Daily Mail says

What could be more frightening than the thought of Paris Hilton dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? Easy. Her AND her boyfriend dressing as Dorothy.

The heiress, and her man Doug Reinhardt, both wore blond pigtails, dresses and red high heels for Hilton’s Halloween house party in LA last night.

The best part is, the both share the same shoe size. And bra size. And Zovirax prescription. I bet that made shopping for costumes a breeze!

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin

More pics of Slutenstein and company after the jump

(more…)

There are reports this morning that Mel Gibson’s mistress Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to his bastard child. Mazel Tov! Maybe they’ll call her “Sugartits.” Radar Online says

It’s official – Mel Gibson is an Octo-Dad!

Mel’s fiancé Oksana Grigorieva has given birth to their baby. And pass out the cigars because it’s a healthy baby girl.

And because Mel’s Russian lady-friend looks like she should be trolling the shores of a lake looking for children to boil in her cauldron or bake in her gingerbread oven, here’s Gwen Stefani dresses as Jessie the Yodeling Cowgirl from Toy Story 2. Or possibly as anybody from Texas. It’s kinda hard to tell the difference most of the time.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online

Bonus footage of Ellen DeGeneres scaring the crap out of Taylor Swift after the jump.

(more…)

Since tomorrow’s Halloween, it just wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t post a couple pictures of a celebrity in costume. Unfortunately, all the good parties won’t be until the weekend, so this is all I could scrounge up for today: Tyra Banks as a Kardashian on her show and as Kate Gosselin in Star Magazine. Bo-ring. Whereas I will be wearing a pair of fangs and two flesh-colored garbage sacks stuffed with disproportionate amounts of dry leaves around either side of my neck because I’m going as Count Sac-ula^TM for Halloween. Consider the Dick in a Box costume owned!

PHOTO CREDIT: Nine MSN

When I was nine, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. Miley Cyrus’ little sister Noah is apparently going with “coccinellid cocksucker” and “child prostitute with progeria” for her All Hallow’s Eve festivities. Perhaps Billy Ray will be taking her trick-or-treating at a local penitentiary or a hostel for registered sex offenders. There’s only so many good “back of an unmarked van’s” to hit up in any given neighborhood on Halloween, you know!

Now with even more kiddie-porn flava after the jump!

(more…)

Victoria’s Secret supermodel Heidi Klum threw her 9th Annual Halloween Party in New York on Friday dressed as the multi-armed Indian god Shiva. As always, she had the best costume there. The only way that costume could kick any more ass is if it also included eight boobs and maybe a functional jet pack.

Halloween exists for two purposes:

1. Eat a shit ton of candy
2. Dress like a slut, go to a party, act like a whore and get wasted

Celebrities are firm believers in upholding these timeless traditions (or at least #2), and this year is no different.  Here’s a Halloween 2008 Slutty Costume Roundup.

Kim Kardashian‘s ass dressed as Wonder Woman at some masquerade yesterday:

Heidi Montag and that toolshed she hangs around with dressed as attention-craving retards:

Kendra Wilkinson as — wait, is this a costume?  I can’t tell:

Mariah Carey and her wife, Nick Cannon, dressed as cookies & milk (because they’re idiots) at their costume party at Marquee in NYC yesterday:

Mariah Carey and her wife, again — this time dressed as “sexy firefighters”:

Traci Bingham as Officer Boobage yesterday:

Shauna Sand dressed as… an orange whore (I guess) on Oct. 25th:

Ali Lohan and mom Dina arrived at the Animal Fair magazine Halloween Pet Costume Contest yesterday looking like a couple of forty-something cocktail waitresses who just got off the night shift at the local strip club. Ali was in a costume, my guess as “Barb Wire” or “Former Chippendale,” but The Sun says differently:

The 14-year-old turned up in a strangely half-hearted kitten outfit — skintight black leggings, a midriff revealing top and a sheer white top. Her outfit was topped off with a pair of cat’s ears and for some reason, a bow tie.

A kitten! Riiight. Because cats are big into mesh and cheesy tattoos and suffer from premature aging and low self-esteem. Just another visible reminder of why you should spay or neuter them. Or, you know, at least hold their head underwater until they stop making shitty pop albums.

Supermodel Cindy Crawford showed up to Kate Hudson’s Halloween party this past weekend dressed as singer Amy Winehouse, complete with sailor tattoos and trademark beehive and eyeliner. It’s a kick-ass costume, but she left out a few key Amy Winehouse elements that would have really authenticated the look. Namely, an icepick to the face and a good half-hour gargle and rinse with yellow food coloring. To get that authentic Winehouse smell, just mix two parts overflowing ashtray and one part gin with two tablespoons of urine and blend until creamy, then divide contents between groin and armpits. Voilà! Amy Winehouse. Of course, if you don’t have that kind of time, you could just kill a hobo a few days prior to the party and stuff him under your beehive. All the smell without any of the work! Talk about your time-saver!

The real Amy being taken to The London Clinic on Saturday:

The real Cindy in French Vogue:

In an example of life imitating art, or more appropriately, crap imitating uh, even stinkier crap, Britney Spears is planning on going as Bald Britney to her own Halloween party. ShowBiz Spy has the story,

Britney Spears is set to get back into the party spirit – by throwing a Halloween bash for all her friends.

The pop princess, 26, is said to be planning a huge gathering on the scariest day of the year in a bid to mark her remarkable comeback.

A source says, “Britney has always loved Halloween.

“She’s got a lot of friends and family coming over and they’ll all be in costume.

“She’s thinking of going as herself but back in her shaven head days.

“She’s genuinely horrified when she looks back at those times so she figures that look would be a great costume for Halloween.

“She won’t actually be shaving her head this time though!”

Britney goes on to say, “My agent says that being self-deprecating can help people get over that period of my life that I’d rather move on from. I’m not really sure, though. Won’t people laugh at me if I crap my own pants? That is what self-deprecating means, right?”

Okay, she didn’t say that, but she totally could have.

Britney and the kids at a pumpkin patch in Hollywood

Actress Olivia Munn gets all dolled up for Halloween in the October issue Complex Magazine by staying true to the real meaning of the holiday: being a gigantic whore. Next to Assover and the Anal Tuesday*, it’s the practically the biggest holiday for sluts the world over!

*_{Arbor Day comes in at a close second.}

Olivia Munn’s hot Complex video:

Thanks to everyone who participated in our first ever Krazy Kats Halloween Costume Giveaway Caption This Contest! We hope to be bringing you stuff like this more often. Anyway, the official winner of the contest IS… AJ:

This is what happens when you teach “abstinence only” singing.

The rest of you can still enjoy that $15 gimme on any costume at Krazy Katz with the coupon code “snarky,” just for being a loyal reader of the site. Halloween’s just around the corner, so stock up now before all the good stuff’s sold out. You’ve got ten days before you have to resort to showing up at a party as a “cereal killer” or a Charlie Brown-style ghost. I think I speak for guys everywhere when I say, “Neither of those show off your boobs!”

Listen up, boys and girls — just in time for Halloween, Krazy Katz Costumes has teamed up with Yeeeah to give away a totally FREE costume to our snarkiest reader! Your snark-worthiness will be determined by the distinguished panel here at Yeeeah (me + a bottle of Boone’s Farm) when you attempt to caption the following picture:

The distinguished panel’s favorite caption will be the big winner of the free costume. It’s like shooting babies in a barrel, it’s so damn easy. And what’s more fun that shooting babies? FREE COSTUMES, of course!!! The deadline for the contest is Sunday, October 19th, and we’ll announce the winner the following Monday. That’s a solid week and a half before Halloween, your one day of the year to dress like a total whore and not have anyone judge you. Think about it. Make sure to leave your email address along with your comment so we can actually notify you when you win (don’t worry — we will NEVER publish your personal information). And even if you don’t win the contest, you can still nab $15 off any costume at Krazy Katz by using the coupon code “snarky.” Really, the only way this thing could be any more of a lock is if it’s last name were “Spears” and you didn’t have a condom. Ka-ching!