Dita Von Teese’s outfit here is pretty, um, ambitious?.  The last time I tried dressing up as Our Lady of Guadalupe was when I got knocked up by the UPS guy and I tried to pass off the pregnancy as divine. Didn’t really fly. Hope things go better for Dita!

I suppose if the other outfit was the virginal Mary, this is…um, the sexy demon of bicycling?

Dad always used to say, “It’s amazing what a little makeup and a shave can do for a gal.” Of course, he was talking about the tranny prostitute he was arrested for soliciting, but I think it still applies here.

Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle all clean-shaven for next month’s Harper’s Bazaar:

Sienna Miller has a spread in next month’s Russian Harper’s Bazaar that’s supposed to be all “sexy” and “cutting edge,” but it comes across more “disheveled” and “confused,” like a hobo trapped in a bathroom at a petting zoo. Or, you know, like you just woke up in a motel room in Guadalajara next to a live goat and a sea captain with an actual hook for a hand. Hey, what happens in the ’90’s stays in the 90’s, I always say! Well, except for the herpes, of course. That one stays with you forever.

Victoria Beckham will be smirking at you in mild disdain from the January ‘09 cover of Harper’s Bazaar.  Read that article.  Seriously — the stuff about the shoes alone is priceless.

I know Posh is tiny and kind of orange and totally crazy and has gigantic fake boobs bigger than her head and she won’t stop cutting her hair in odd ways and she wears the most bonkers stuff she can get her wee hands on, but I love her anyway.  I have no idea why.  She’s just one of those people who barrels straight through goddamn insane and comes rocketing out the other side and slides right into amusingly charming.  I think it has something to do with the way she puts on these effing weird as hell outfits and then just stares into the camera, all, “Yeah.  This is nuts.  YOU LOVE IT.”  And I do!  I do love it.