Harry Potter Was an Alcoholic

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In an interview with next month’s British GQ, 22-year-old Daniel Radcliffe claims he was a total boozehound the whole time he was filming the Harry Potter series. Us Magazine says:

“I became so reliant on alcohol to enjoy stuff,” Radcliffe tells GQ. “There were a few years there when I was just so enamored with the idea of living some sort of famous person’s lifestyle that really isn’t suited to me.”

Radcliffe considers himself lucky that the paparazzi didn’t bust up his booze habit. “I really got away with that because there were many instances when a paparazzi shot like that could have been taken,” says the actor.

Clean and sober since August 2010, Radcliffe [adds], “As much as I would love to be a person that goes to parties and has a couple of drinks and has a nice time, that doesn’t work for me. There’s no shame in enjoying the quiet life.”

So Harry Potter wants us to think that he was some hard-drinking bad boy living life on the edge for the last five years, yet somehow nobody noticed it. Not even the British paparazzi, who are second only to grizzly bears in terms of overt aggressiveness and thirst for blood. Uh-huh. Maybe someone should tell Harry that Memory Modifying Charms and invisibility cloaks only work in the books. Richie Cunningham is more of a badass than this weenie is.

Bonnie Wright in Drama Magazine

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Here’s Bonnie Wright, better known as Ginny Weasley of Harry Potter fame in Drama Magazine. I’m not sure what these outfits are supposed to mean, but I guess it’s supposed to be artsy fartsy since the name of the magazine is “drama”. I don’t know anything about real art, because my concept of art growing up was memories of my father sticking one of those Blo Pens up his butt while he was drunk and painting my mom’s show poodle different colors. Poor little Cuddles was the laughingstock of the show that year.

Looking far more elegant than Cuddles:

Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer’s Spliff

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“Harry Potter” star Daniel Radcliffe was photographed smoking pot at a London party thrown by a friend of his girlfriend Laura O’Toole’s. The Daily Mirror says

Giggling Daniel Radcliffe got off his face on dope – as a friend scrawled a [magic marker] mustache on him.

The party-loving Harry Potter idol, a spliff between his fingers, could barely stop chuckling.

The screen idol, 20, lit up the joint in front of guests and repeatedly took deep drags. He also walked around the flat blurting out: “I love weed.”

“I didn’t recognize him as he looked so different to what I expected from the films. When my friend told me who he was, I was shocked,” [said a partygoer].

Oh, come one — what’s wrong with the occasional social toke? Smoking one joint doesn’t make you a stoner. Eating Taco Bell more than eight times a week and celebrating 4:20 in every time zone makes you a stoner. Recognize!

Japanese Fan Smells Ron Weasley’s Eyelashes

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If you didn’t actually get a letter summoning you to Hogwart’s, getting to sniff Ron Weasley’s eyelash stank on your fingers has to be the next best thing. Just ask the Japanese Harry Potter fan who got to meet Rupert Grint in the flesh! Nine MSN says

While her job was technically an interview through a translator, Kana had more hands-on activities on the agenda. She marveled at Rupert’s ‘silver ‘ eyelashes, asked to [touch] them… and then smelled her hand.

This video is adorable because it’s a little Japanese school girl with buck teeth who giggles nervously with her hand over her mouth the whole time she’s fingering his eyelashes. If it were, say, a forty-year old man in a tank top and cutoff denim shorts, the tape would be submitted by the state as evidence. Just one more reason sex offenders might want to start dressing up as Japanese school girls. Besides the awesome wardrobe, of course!

S.S. Emma Watson Topless

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Ever wondered what Hermione Granger’s nipples would look like? Well, (NSFW) Boobicus Appearicus! A former boyfriend of Emma Watson claims to have taken the photo, but you can do a lot with PhotoShop these days, and I can’t vouch for its authenticity. But as Professor Dumbledore once said, “Boobies are boobies.” Erectus Weeniosa!

UPDATE: So it’s definitely a fake.

Ron Weasely Gets Swine Flu

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Daniel Radcliffe & Rupert Grint

I guess they forgot to teach the spell that would repel the swine flu at Hogwarts, because NineMSN is reporting that Harry Potter star Rupert Grint has come down with the virus.

It was only a matter of time before a celebrity came down with swine flu, and Harry Potter star Rupert Grint is the unlucky first.

The 20-year-old is under quarantine after contracting the virus and has had to take time off from filming Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

His publicist confirms, “Rupert Grint has taken a few days out of filming due to a mild bout of swine flu.”

Luckily Rupert hasn’t been affected too badly by the virus — which has killed 332 people worldwide — and he’s expected to be on his feet again to join his castmates at the London premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince tomorrow.

Since he’s a celebrity and can get into places I can’t, maybe he’ll go cough on the cast of Twilight for me.

Behind the scenes at the London studio for the filming of The Dealthly Hallows, because I know you’re big nerds:

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Harry Potter is Gay

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You know how I know Harry Potter’s gay? This:

Among the topics touched upon in the [October 2008 Details] interview: Radcliffe’s dream role. “I think part of me would love to play a drag queen, just because it would be an excuse to wear loads of eye makeup,” the actor tells the magazine.

You know another good excuse to wear loads of eye makeup? Having a vagina and fallopian tubes. Being gay is a close second.

Hermione Is The New Face of Chanel

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Harry Potter star Emma Watson will be replacing Keira Knightley as the new face of Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle fragrance. According to Now Magazine

The 18-year-old actress has signed a rumored [$6 million], 2-year deal to be the face of the Chanel perfume.

When I was eighteen, I had an ’82 Peugot that broke down often enough for me to keep a ten-speed mounted to the trunk and a collection of limited edition Holiday Barbies still in their original boxes. Emma Watson is eighteen, and she has liquid assets totaling somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 million. But the real question is, does she have the spirited sense of adventure and the devil-may-care whimsy of my youth? Because there are some things that money just can’t buy. I’m kidding, of course. For $15 million, you could probably poop “spirited sense of adventure” and buy your own salvation. I’m pretty sure God takes American Express Black when the devil’s not looking.

In Parade magazine:

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Hot Muggle Love

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Attention all dorks, geeks, and/or virgins living in their mothers’ basements: Harry and Hermione might be dating! Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spent Valentine’s Day in each other’s arms at The Imperial Arms in West London. Page Six quotes a source as saying:

“They arrived quite late at the pub and sat outside, using each other’s bodies for warmth. Throughout the night, he just kept giggling like a love-struck teen. They seemed totally absorbed in one another’s company… until just before closing time. They then left the pub, heads together and whispering, and headed in the direction of Daniel’s home nearby.”

Boy, that Hermione sure gets around. I thought she was supposed to be Ron’s Weasley’s girl. It’s only a matter of time before video of her tag-teaming Hagrid and a couple of randy centaurs in the Forbidden Forest hits the Wizarding Wireless Network and Warner Brothers drops her like a bad habit.