Now that everybody has seen it 4,583 times in their official “Jersey Shore” promo (see above), MTV has suddenly decided to yank the footage of housemate Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi being punched in piehole from next week’s episode. MTV said in a written statement
“What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing. After hearing from our viewers, further consulting with experts on the issue of violence, and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context not to show the severity of this act or resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in the face.”
While they might not be showing it, the fight will still be addressed in the episode, which will also end with a message from the Teen Dating Abuse Helpline organization. Oh, that’s nice, isn’t it? Now it’s not a shameless hook for ratings; it’s an outreach to abused teens! I think Mammy from “Gone with the Wind” said it best: You can give yourself airs, and get yourself all rigged up like you were a race horse, but at the end of the day you’re still just a mule in a horse harness and you don’t fool anybody. MTV pretending it has some kind of moral fiber is like a hooker pulling out elbow-length gloves and and a pair of opera glasses before she sucks you off behind a Luby’s parking lot dumpster. Really, why even bother.
The Situation, JWoww, Pauly D and Snooki greasing it up Hollywood over the weekend:
When greasy buffoon Brad Ferro isn’t busy sucker-punching chicks in the face or dumping quarts of gel in his hair, he spends most of his time educating America’s youth courtesy of your tax dollars. We might as well go ahead and surrender to the Japanese now. According to Page Six
Ferro, 24, was arrested in late August for punching out [fellow Jersey Shore star] Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Seaside Heights.
Ferro, a teacher at North Queens Community HS, was initially told to lay off the booze by bouncers at the bar because he seemed too drunk, [but] Ferro managed to stay inside the bar and [later] swiped shots belonging to Polizzi that had been placed on the bar top.
“That started a verbal altercation, after which he struck her in the face,” [police] said. “She sustained an injury to the inside of her mouth due to the punch.”
So he got drunk and punched her in the face? I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m pretty sure that’s just how men propose in Italy. I swear, people can be so ignorant of other cultures sometimes.
There were reports earlier this week that David Hasselhoff had been hospitalized for an “ear infection,” which, as it turns out, is actually a PR agent’s way of saying “he was piss-fucking-drunk.” The Hoff had to be rushed to London’s Capio Nightingale Hospital on Monday after bashing a doctor in the face in drunken rage. The Sun says
The bender began at the weekend at Simon Cowell’s posh birthday party. [Hasselhoff] got smashed and was escorted out of a side door and back to the hotel.
A source said: “On this occasion he became so drunk he wet his hotel bed – ruining two mattresses – and was becoming a real pain for staff. They decided they had no option but to lock him in the basement until an ambulance arrived.”
Hasselhoff then lashed out when he was confronted by the physician – accidentally decking Dr Paul Ettlinger.
Well, they were kind of asking for it, don’t you think? I mean, you don’t cage a wild beast and then expect it to come with you willingly. You have to coax it out gently with a trail of savory morsels and treats. In this case, tiny Jagermeister bottles and pictures of boobs. That’s the only way I managed to get my husband out of the drainage ditch the night before our wedding.
All may not be well in Brangelinaland — Angelina reportedly caught Brad dallying with the help late last week. According to Star Magazine
Brad was on the bed, rubbing the back of a pretty young nanny! Angie got so mad she slapped Brad and fired the girl on the spot!
“She completely flipped out,” says the insider. “She got right in Brad’s face, screaming at the top of her lungs, and told the nanny to get out of her house and never come back!”
The explosive argument woke up the sleeping twins, who began to cry. As Brad tried to console both the twins and the nanny, Angie just snapped — and slapped! — hitting him right across the face.
“He was stunned,” reveals the insider.
What makes this all the more shameful is that Angie reportedly used Brad’s own ballsack to slap him in the face. “Keeping his nuts on my person with his spine and what’s left of his free will really comes in handy during an argument,” she’s quoted as saying. I’d have to agree with her there. In my own personal experience, nothing stings quite like a scrotum to the face. But I’m afraid that’s a story for another day!
It looks like Amy Winehouse may get her comeuppance after all — she’s been formally charged with assault for punching a fan in the face at a charity ball last year. According to the Daily Mail
Amy Winehouse has been charged with common assault after allegedly punching… dancer Sherene Flash, who had asked if she could take a photograph of her.
This is believed to be the first time Winehouse, 25, has been charged with an offense.
She has been arrested and investigated after incidents including drugs and assault claims, but police have dropped the cases.
British prosecutors must be even stupider than the ones in L.A. if this is the first time they’ve managed to actually charge Amy Winehouse with anything. For Chrissakes, there’s video of her snorting cocaine right in the middle of her goddamn concert. And then there’s that footage of her snorting it again in a London pub. And don’t let’s forget the video of her snorting ecstasy and cocaine and smoking crack during a party at her Camden flat. That’s just fucking pitiful, mates. Come on. Even Shaquille O’Neal manages to hit a free throw every sixth or seventh time at the stripe.
Following rumors of constant fighting and an impending divorce, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have now taken to waling on each other like a couple of Dale, Jr. fans in a double wide trailer. Viva el amor!Star Magazine quotes a source as saying
“They love hard; they fight hard — and that has led to pushing and shoving. They throw things and scream and just go bananas. It’s been war in their house! [Marc] can be really mean. He’s a macho guy with a horrible temper and can say awful things.”
What triggers these blowups? A number of things — from various women calling their home to speak with Marc to his comments about Jennifer’s “chubby” post-baby body.
Jesus, enough already. We get it. You’re a fiery Latina with eh-strong Puertorriquena eh-spirit and a passion for living. What’s next, a tear drop tattoo under your left eye and tagging the overpass under the Santa Ana Freeway? Get arrested for shoplifting from Wal-Mart and you’ve hit every goddamn cliché in the book.
