Howard Stern aired what was supposedly “raw board feed” of Beyonce screeching and mewing through a Today show performance last year on his Sirius radio show yesterday. Unfortunately, the whole thing was revealed to be a hoax today (the guy who made it offers his explanation after the jump), but of course, Beyonce’s insufferable asswipe of a father still had to get in his two cents. Matthew Knowles told Access Hollywood

“If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them. If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing ‘America the Beautiful’ and ‘At Last’ at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce’s vocal ability, they’ve gotta be an idiot.

At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot.”

Somewhere out there, Milli Vanilli, Ashlee Simpson and Hilary Duff are nodding their heads in staunch agreement. God knows the music industry never offers you anything but unfettered truth and raw talent.

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“Retired” actor Joaquin Phoenix’s little foray into rap music is really just his pitiful attempt at an Andy Kaufman-style hoax. According to Entertainment Weekly

Says one source who recently worked with Phoenix: “He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.’”

With this supposed career reboot he is evidently trying to both lampoon pompous actors and punk the media that covers them. “It’s an art project for him,” says a source. “He’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.”

Yep, when I think “Joaquin Phoenix,” the first word that comes to mind is definitely “control.” No, wait… make that “cornhole.” My mistake.