Eat your breakfast yet? Prepare to get a visit from the Ghost of Breakfast Past. Pete Doherty will be debuting a tell-all biography home video today in an Austrian porn cinema. The Sun reveals,

The BABYSHAMBLES rocker, 29, is believed to discuss old flame KATE MOSS, 34, and addict pal AMY WINEHOUSE, 24, in the home movie, due to be screened in Graz.

A pal said: “Some of it is very revealing.”

Oooh, sexy. This is just about as erotic as a bowl of Jerusalem crickets and not as tasty. I swear I can’t understand what Kate Moss ever saw in this clammy freak of nature. He reminds me of those creepy marionette dolls that are in like every 80’s horror movie ever made. I’m totally making that up, because I won’t watch horror movies that have dolls or clowns in them, but if they did, they’d look just like him.

Can’t sleep, the clowns will eat me!