Investigative journalist Ian Halperin spent 18 months as an undercover photographer while researching his unauthorized biography of Britney Spears. Among his startling revelations: Britney really did try to kill herself. More than once. Halperin told Life & Style magazine:

I spoke with her many times and went to her house. I will say the suicide attempts are true. I know all the details about both of them. It really became an issue once Jayden was born and it became clear Britney’s marriage to Kevin was crumbling. That’s when she began to say things like “I wish I was dead” or “It’d be better if I could go to sleep and never wake up” on a regular basis.”

And she would have succeeded, too, if it weren’t for that Frito-Lay press release announcing the debut of the new Cool Ranch® and Bacon Sour Cream® Cheetos. Finally, something for her to live for!

At Sur Restaurant on Monday: