The Church of Scientology is going on the legal offensive after video of Tom Cruise ranting about saving the world through Scientology made its way online, claiming the footage was stolen from their website and threatening to sue anybody who posts it (see the letter they sent Gawker Media after the jump). I personally give it about two hours before they pull the above footage of him talking to and saluting L. Ron Hubbard’s portrait, because this new footage sure isn’t going to help Tommy in his attempts to resurrect what’s left of his career and marketability. The Daily Mail says

[Cruise] has had trouble sleeping and been tearful at times [because he] is entrenched in a crisis… spearheaded by this week’s leaked internet video, on top of the stress caused by the publication of a scandal-drenched biography and his continually misfiring career.

But it is perhaps even harder for him to live down the humiliation of being dumped from a producing deal with Paramount by media mogul Sumner Redstone - because women, including Redstone’s wife, Paula, found him creepy. “He turned off all women and a lot of men,” Redstone said. “Paula and women everywhere had come to hate him.”

If I understand this correctly — and I’m pretty sure I do — you could have a Nazi Klansman child pornographer and Tom Cruise vying for the same role in a movie and there’s 99% chance that the studio would go with the Jew-hating pedophile in Grand Wizard costume. I mean, you can at least relate to that kind of crazy. It’s been around for a couple thousand years. But volcanoes full of hydrogen bombs and operating thetans and past lives and secret levels, well, that doesn’t make any goddamned sense. I’m pretty sure that’s why they invented electroshock therapy and straight jackets in the first place.

Katie arriving at The Late Show With David Letterman, plus some vintage crazy Tom Cruise and after the jump:

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