Brad Pitt looked like a pretentious asswipe when he showed up to the Spanish premiere of Inglorious Basterds in a pair of monogrammed slippers. Still, I don’t think we should just jump to conclusions without giving him a chance to explain himself. For all we know, that BP could stand for “Butt Plug.” Or “Ball-less Puss.” It is Brad Pitt we’re talking about, after all.

With director Quention Tarantino:

God. Damn. Lindsay Lohan is only 23 years old. 23! In human years! Is there a clock that runs backwards nearby or something? It’s like Indiana Jones’ girlfriend in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Mary-Kate Olsen had a really ugly old woman baby, only instead of raising it in a New Orleans assisted living facility, they coated it in bacon rinds and fed it methamphetamines and scabs from the knees of truck stop hookers. They could call this version “The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Butthole.” Othewise it’s just copyright infringement.

At the Inglourious Bastards afterparty in New York:

PHOTO SOURCE: Splash News

It might be a $20,000 dress constructed entirely of aniline-finished top grain leather made from the skin of unborn baby calves and stitched together by a small tribe of leather craftsmen living in the foothills of the Andes, but the fact still remains Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are dressed alike. Only seventh grade girls and people who get their portraits made at Olan Mills do that. Gay!

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

Diane Kruger was in last weekend’s Sunday Times Style, and in it she talks about Inglourious Basterds, clicking with Quentin Tarantino, the terrible stickiness of fake blood, and a bunch of stuff about her undead boyfriend and her childhood.  Honestly, though, the best part of that article is that the idiot who wrote it hilariously calls Josh Hartnett one of the “big boys”.  Is Josh Hartnett even still alive?  What the hell is up with Diane Kruger and all these dead dudes, anyway?