Former “Girl Next Door” Holly Madison made headlines this morning after revealing she’d taken out a $1 million insurance policy on her big fake tits with the famous Lloyd’s of London. People Magazine says:

Madison, 31, said she did it to protect herself and others who appear in her Las Vegas production, Peepshow.

“If anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she said. “I thought I’d cover my assets.”

Madison appears topless during segments of the Vegas show, which, in her mind, made the insurance policy necessary, [saying], “They’re my primary money makers right now.”

One million dollars is a lot of money for (NSFW) a boob job that looks like it was performed in an abandoned carnicería somewhere in Juarez. I just hope there’s a good gravity rider in place.

At the 2011 Beautiful Humitarian awards:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Lindsay Lohan’s career managed to surface from the shitter and cling precariously to the rim of the bowl on Monday when producers of her new romantic comedy “Labor Pains” finally found someone stupid enough to insure her. According to Rush and Molloy

“Labor Pains” producer Rick Schwartz kept getting turned down by insurers. “[Schwartz] could only find one insurance company to cover her, and even then he really had to vouch for her.”

[A Plum Pictures spokesperson said] “Our insurance and bond reps have been impressed with her good behavior. Whatever personal issues she may have had in the past, it is clear to me that work is her total priority. She wants to make this role and this film a success, and I truly believe in her.”

Well, here’s one guy who has no problem attesting to her work ethic: Bobby Brown’s son Landon. Showbiz Spy reveals

Landon enjoyed a fling with Lindsay Lohan in a nightclub’s toilets [in 2006. Landon said,] “Lindsay followed me to the bathroom during a party and, well, we basically got together. We were just staring at each other and she walked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in. I think she knew who I was.”

So would that be considered “working hard,” or “hardly working?” Ha ha! We all know it doesn’t really matter as long as the word “hard” is involved. Or the word “penis.” She’s a real workhorse when it comes to hard penis.