Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael and two armed police officers barged into her L.A. apartment yesterday as part of an intervention and welfare check at Michael’s request on his youngest daughter, Ali, who has been staying with Lindsay for the last two weeks. Thanks, California tax payers! That’s your tax dollars hard at work right there. Us Magazine says

Michael [says] that he was worried about Ali after hearing she drove home “at 115 miles an hour” from the Coachella music festival this weekend with Lindsay.

“I went to the police department concerned about Ali’s welfare,” Michael says. “I wanted to check on Ali. I want to make sure she’s OK. She’s 16 and she doesn’t belong there! She’s a minor. Ali is being exposed to nightlife and the people Lindsay is surrounding herself with,” Michael continues.

Michael says he’s meeting with Lindsay’s attorney’s today to consider getting a conservatorship, similar to Britney Spears and Jamie Spears.

But of course mom Dina Lohan has to get her two coked-out cents in, telling the media that Michael didn’t even recognize his younger daughter upon entering the apartment. According to Radar Online

“Michael walked into the apartment looked right at Ali and said, I’m looking for my daughter Ali, is she here?” Dina [said].

“That’s from Ali’s lips to God’s ears. He didn’t even recognize his own daughter. That’s what she told me he said when he walked in there and saw her.”

“I’m petrified for my girls and their safety. My girls are so afraid of him, I’ve had an order of protection place since 2005. They are so afraid for their lives. My ex-husband is dangerous.”

I’m pretty sure that nothing from a Lohan’s lips ever makes it to God’s ears, but don’t try telling her that. And besides, who needs God when you’ve got Twitter, right? Lindsay tweeted:

i have no choice but to make this public, due to my sister’s safety, as well as my own, “my ex-dad” just WALKED INTO MY APT like the devil’s advocate with officers.

my BUILDING didn’t STOP him, isn’t it supposed to be safe? it coulda been FAKE cops! dressed up!when will it ever end… it’s been going on my whole life with him-hasn’t he caused enough pain ?

the only one in need of police protection here is ME AND ALI from our pathological, lying ex-father!

my mother is AMAZING! not ANYTHING like what Michael is saying. W/out her, i wouldn’t of been able to follow my dreams and be as strong as i am today.

my friend @lianalevi doesn’t drive 100mph!! my dad is the one who drove into a telephone pole!!!! hello! i’m not up ALL NIGHT!!! stop lying!

at least i can laugh at my ex-con father anyone care to join in on the laughter avec moi?? hehe

pathological liar- a person who lies to the point of it being considered a disease or condition, an abnormally habitual liar = MY FATHER

I’m not surprised he didn’t recognize Ali, because since she’s started hanging around with Lindsay, she looks like a 35-year old divorcee with gout. All I know is if the military could somehow get its hands on whatever toxic forcefield it is that Lindsay Lohan creates, we’d have a bioweapon so powerful that all our enemies would once again fear us. We might not be able to nuke you, but we’ve still got Lindsay Lohan and her poison vagina! Mwah ha ha ha!

Dr. Phil McGraw showed up Cedars-Sinai Saturday morning to counsel the recently hospitalized Britney Spears. And I meant “counsel” in the literal form of the word, from the Latin consilium meaning “try to capitalize on others’ misfortunes and then exploit them for ratings.” Maslow and Jung can kiss his big Texan ass! According to People magazine

In a statement to Entertainment Tonight, McGraw said: “My meeting with Britney and some family members this morning in at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car.”

Dr. Phil is devoting his Monday taping to the pop star’s problems. The show will air [Tuesday].

But it seems that nobody alerted Britney to his impending arrival, and she didn’t so much “chat with him” as “completely ignore him as he chased behind her still running his flap.” According to TMZ

Cedars Sinai Medical Center let Dr. Phil go up to Britney Spears’ room without her prior knowledge or consent. Britney had no idea Dr. Phil was coming to her room and indeed when he walked in she became agitated and walked out. The show wanted to book Brit for a TV intervention that is being taped on Monday. We’re told she wants nothing to do with it, and the show will not have her on.

Who, oh, who could have possibly orchestrated this, then? Did you guess “the same woman who sold out her other teenage daughter’s illegitimate pregnancy to the tabloids?” Well, you’d be right!

We’re also told Brit’s parents, who wanted Dr. Phil to visit Britney, had agreed at least initially to be on the program.

It takes a special woman to knowingly shove her children down the gullet of the Great Satan and then wait for him to start shitting dollar bills. It also takes a special woman to wander the parking lot of the Phillips 66 in a mesh tube top and offer head to the next syphilitic trucker she sees for a finsky and a smoke. Coincidence? Find out on Tuesday’s all-new Dr. Phil!