Kim Kardashian talked about those rumors of her and Kanye West hooking up on The Today Show this morning. And by “talking”, I mean, “doing what I assume is her ‘pretty laugh’ and batting her eyelash spiders and lying between her teeth”. Radar Online says,

Kim Kardashian played it coy on The Today Show Friday when asked about her blooming romance with Kanye West, as the media-saavy reality TV star left her comings and goings to the public’s imagination, a day after she and the controversial rapper spent the day in New York taking in The Hunger Games.

When Today host Ann Curry asked her about the rumored hook-up with the 34-year-old hit-maker, Kim played her cards close to the vest.

“I completely respect and understand that you have to ask these questions … Kanye and I have been friends for years,” the E! Star said. “You never know what the future may hold.”

As we previously reported, in Kanye’s new single Theraflu, he holds little back, rapping about how he “fell in love with Kim.”

Of course, RadarOnline.com readers will recall we reported in January about Kim and Kanye’s paths crossing, following Star magazine’s exclusive chat with Kanye’s ex Amber Rose.

“They were both cheating,” Amber told Star exclusively, saying Kanye and Kim hooked up while they were both in high-profile relationships: Kanye with her and Kim with NFL running back Reggie Bush. “They were both cheating on me and Reggie with each other.”

I have to admit, that video is the first time I’ve ever watched Kim talk. I think a little part of me died. My innocence is gone, and I’ll never get that back. Thanks a lot, Kim.

Trying not to be photographed together after having a lunch date:

Photo source: Fame Pictures

Paris Hilton was “greatly offended” when a reporter on Australia’s version of The Today Show dared to insinuate that one day, she might not be famous anymore. Radar Online says:

Correspondent Edwina Bartholmew asked Paris, “What about when you’re not famous anymore, what are you going to do?”

The 31-year-old Hilton responded by saying that she “just wants to be able to have children and have a normal life with my kids.”

Although she said it all in her typical Paris baby-tone complete with a smile, her publicist later made it clear that the heiress was not happy with being asked about losing her fame.

Sunrise producers were told that if they aired the full interview they would not be allowed on the red carpet at the opening of [the Marquee casino] that night.

The show didn’t take kindly to being threatened by Hilton and ran it anyway, and the clip of the segment provides a hilarious insight into the real world of Paris.

Things did not end on such friendly terms with Channel 7, the Australian network that broadcasts Sunrise. They’ve now been banned from interviewing Paris ever again.

Banned from ever interviewing Paris again? Such a blow to Australian morning television! Think of all the witty repartee and clever banter that will never be exchanged! Interviewing her is practically like engaging the Algonquin Round Table itself. I don’t think Channel 7 will ever fully recover.

At Bondi Beach in Australia last weekend:

Rihanna got all kinds of huffy in London today when a reporter dared to ask her an insightful and thought-provoking question during a promotional Q&A session for her new cinematic masterpiece “Battleship.” No, not “You do know this movie is just gonna end up in the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart, right?” — the reporter had the balls to ask about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher. The Huffington Post says:

Asks Sarah: “You’re so good with connecting with people, that I think that we actually feel we know you. Things are clearly going brilliantly in your career. I just wondered if you are as happy in your private life. Will we be seeing a certain Mr. Kutcher perhaps making a trip over here?”

“Wow, how disappointing was that question,” Rihanna answers, shaking her head.

A moderator then leaps in to interject, but not before RiRi spits out: “I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”

Rihanna’s not the only one who’s disappointed here. I’m a little disappointed, too. I’m disappointed that someone thought it’d be a good idea to make a movie out of the board game “Battleship.” I guess Rihanna and I will just have to learn to pick up the pieces and somehow move on with our lives.

With co-star and SI swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker:

“Mad Men” actor Jon Hamm called out Kim Kardashian and her reality-star ilk for being the vapid twats that they are in next month’s issue of Elle, telling the magazine:

‘Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly… [the success of reality TV stars] doesn’t make any sense to [me].”

So of course Kim was promptly Google alerted to the comment and tweeted in response:

“Calling someone who runs their own businesses, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless. I respect Jon and I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that not everyone takes the same path in life. We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another.”

Except no, we don’t. You don’t HAVE to respect anybody. Particularly anybody who got their start being fucked on camera. The Daily Mail says:

During an appearance on The Today Show this morning, 41-year-old Hamm firmly stood by his remarks.

When asked about the matter by host Matt Lauer, Hamm responded: ‘I don’t think [my comments] were careless. I think they were accurate.’

‘It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with, and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility… it’s not something that I partake in or enjoy, but it is what is and here we are.’

They only way Jon Hamm could have pwned Kim Kardashian any harder is if he’d brought in a slide show of screen caps from the sex tape and illuminated each of his points with stills of her with a big black cock in her mouth. That would have been fucking awesome.

At the Ft. Lauderdale airport last week:

Katy Perry is depicted as an overly-made-up showgirl in next month’s Interview magazine, but how you tell the difference between overly-made-up showgirl Katy and Katy every other day of the week is beyond me. I’m just hoping this is Interview’s way of secretly burning her with irony.

Matt Lauer’s interview with Lindsay Lohan will air in its entirety tomorrow, but they released a teaser clip on this morning’s “Today Show” in which she professes to be clean and sober and on the fast track to success. MSNBC says:

Lohan said: “[The nightlife and parties are] not my thing anymore. I went out, actually, a few months ago with a friend. And I was so uncomfortable. Not because I felt tempted, just because it was just the same thing that it always was before. And it just wasn’t fun for me. I’ve become more of a homebody. And I like that.”

“Do you think people have gotten back, or can get back to the point where they trust you?” Lauer asked. “In other words, professional people? You know, if they say to you, ‘Come host ‘Saturday Night Live’,’ that’s a big commitment. And do you think the producers and directors of movies and television projects are going to get back to the part where they can go, ‘You know what? Yeah, we can count on Lindsay. We can bank on her?’”

“I think I still need to go through the process of proving myself, you know, with ‘SNL,’ being on time, being, you know, keeping my — can’t say the word — but stuff together,” [Lohan said]. “Being able to have this opportunity with ‘SNL’ and the film, I’m gonna do what I’m supposed to do and do it as best as I can.”

Yes, making it through a whole week of rehearsals and one 90-minute taping thought ought to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she’s completely bankable again. I don’t know what what we were all thinking.

Her severely-photoshopped JAG jeans ads:

53-year-old Madonna reveals that she kissed 29-year-old rapper Nicki Minaj on tomorrow’s episode of “Anderson.” Be still, my pants. The Daily Mail says:

Madonna [said], ‘It was [Nicki's] birthday and it was actually the end of one of those long days of shooting and we were all giving a birthday toast to her. After a few sips of champagne I kissed her, yes.’

The pair recently collaborated on Madonna’s upcoming single, Give Me All Your Luvin’, which also features rapper M.I.A.

Madonna will perform [the song] at Sunday’s Superbowl.

I think I speak for everyone when I say “no thanks.” There’s no footage of the kiss, so you’ll just have to use your imagination, I guess. And if the visual your brain conjures up is just too awful, think about that three-year-old boy with the partially-developed remains of his twin tangled up in small his intestines. Experts agree, it’s still significantly less revolting than thinking about Madonna kissing Nicki Minaj.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie always said that they would get married when gay marriage became legal in all fifty states, but later hinted that wedding might be coming before any federal law was overturned, and now Brad has all but confirmed there IS a Brangelina wedding in the works, gay people be damned. The Daily Mail says:

In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, Brad Pitt made a stunning admission when asked whether he would marry Angelina: ‘We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out.’

He said their six children were one of the significant factors behind his change of heart.

Brad said: ‘We’d actually like to, and it seems to mean more and more to our kids… they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.’

But he didn’t go as far as saying he had asked Angelina to marry him, adding: ‘I’m not going to go any further.’

Bottom line, they’ll get married when Angelina tells him it’s time to get married. Pretending he has any say in it whatsoever is downright hilarious.

At the Golden Globes:

Fame/Flynet Pictures

In case you didn’t know, Mark Wahlberg was scheduled to be on one of the ill-fated Los Angeles-bound flights that crashed into the twin towers on September 11th, but unfortunately, he rescheduled his flight just days before the tragedy struck. I say “unfortunately,” because if Marky Mark had been on that plane, that whole “mass-coordinated terrorist attack” thing would have gone totally differently. As in Marky Mark ties the jihadists up with their own turbans and then hitches the plane to a team of bald eagles and kisses the hot stewardess with the big rack in front of a billowing American flag. Rated PG-13 for language, mature thematic material, and brief nudity. The Daily Mail says:

[Wahlberg told next month's issue of Men's Journal]: ‘If I was on that plane [that crashed into the World Trade Center] with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did.

There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin and then me saying “OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry”.’

Of course, insinuating that all the passengers who actually died in the attack were giant pussies didn’t sit too well with victims’ families. Mark Wahlberg has since apologized, saying:

“To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with, and to suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.

I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.”

Apology or not, I think we both know those towers would still be standing if Marky Mark had been on the plane. I mean, he’s got a whole Funky Bunch at his disposal. He’s virtually untouchable.

What, Lindsay Lohan, unprofessional? This is the first I’m ever hearing of this. Us Magazine says:

Playboy’s newest cover girl Lindsay Lohan has canceled an upcoming promotional appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show that was scheduled to tape on December 13.

Currently on vacation in Hawaii, the 25-year-old actress missed her flight back to Los Angeles, a show rep confirms.

Never mind that that Russian hacker leaking her cover has already cost Playboy thousands and forced Hefner to move newsstand sales up a week early. Never mind that she was contractually obligated to do the interview. It posed a slight inconvenience to her. And since 9/11, nobody will hold a fucking plane for anybody anymore. I think we can all agree, her hands were really tied here.

Arriving to court today:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Interview magazine has Scarlett Johansson doing the semi-androgynous S&M thing on the cover of their December issue. Apparently Scarlett Johansson can get away with leather lederhosen, but when I wear something like that it’s “indecent exposure” and I get maced.

Ten more victims have come forward since former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was charged with 40 counts of sexually abusing young boys through his Second Mile foundation. I haven’t really wanted to talk about this, because it makes me fucking sick to my stomach, but Sardusky spoke out for the first time via a phone interview with Bob Costas last night, and I thought you’d be interested in what he had to say. Particularly the part about “horsing around” with boys in the shower, which he now admits in retrospect “may have been a mistake.” The NY Times says:

Sandusky said he was innocent of the charges against him and declared that he was not a pedophile. He did acknowledge, “I shouldn’t have showered with those kids.”

“I could say that I have done some of those things,” he said of the accusations against him. “I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without intent of sexual contact.”

He added: “I enjoy being around children. I enjoy their enthusiasm. I just have a good time with them.”

My only consolation in all this is imagining him being the receiving end of that same kind of “enthusiasm” and “horsing around” in a prison shower. I hope his asshole reaps everything he sowed.