53-year-old Madonna reveals that she kissed 29-year-old rapper Nicki Minaj on tomorrow’s episode of “Anderson.” Be still, my pants. The Daily Mail says:
Madonna [said], ‘It was [Nicki's] birthday and it was actually the end of one of those long days of shooting and we were all giving a birthday toast to her. After a few sips of champagne I kissed her, yes.’
The pair recently collaborated on Madonna’s upcoming single, Give Me All Your Luvin’, which also features rapper M.I.A.
Madonna will perform [the song] at Sunday’s Superbowl.
I think I speak for everyone when I say “no thanks.” There’s no footage of the kiss, so you’ll just have to use your imagination, I guess. And if the visual your brain conjures up is just too awful, think about that three-year-old boy with the partially-developed remains of his twin tangled up in small his intestines. Experts agree, it’s still significantly less revolting than thinking about Madonna kissing Nicki Minaj.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie always said that they would get married when gay marriage became legal in all fifty states, but later hinted that wedding might be coming before any federal law was overturned, and now Brad has all but confirmed there IS a Brangelina wedding in the works, gay people be damned. The Daily Mail says:
In an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, Brad Pitt made a stunning admission when asked whether he would marry Angelina: ‘We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out.’
He said their six children were one of the significant factors behind his change of heart.
Brad said: ‘We’d actually like to, and it seems to mean more and more to our kids… they ask a lot. And it means something to me, too, to make that kind of commitment.’
But he didn’t go as far as saying he had asked Angelina to marry him, adding: ‘I’m not going to go any further.’
Bottom line, they’ll get married when Angelina tells him it’s time to get married. Pretending he has any say in it whatsoever is downright hilarious.
In case you didn’t know, Mark Wahlberg was scheduled to be on one of the ill-fated Los Angeles-bound flights that crashed into the twin towers on September 11th, but unfortunately, he rescheduled his flight just days before the tragedy struck. I say “unfortunately,” because if Marky Mark had been on that plane, that whole “mass-coordinated terrorist attack” thing would have gone totally differently. As in Marky Mark ties the jihadists up with their own turbans and then hitches the plane to a team of bald eagles and kisses the hot stewardess with the big rack in front of a billowing American flag. Rated PG-13 for language, mature thematic material, and brief nudity. The Daily Mail says:
[Wahlberg told next month's issue of Men's Journal]: ‘If I was on that plane [that crashed into the World Trade Center] with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did.
There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin and then me saying “OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry”.’
Of course, insinuating that all the passengers who actually died in the attack were giant pussies didn’t sit too well with victims’ families. Mark Wahlberg has since apologized, saying:
“To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with, and to suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.
I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.”
Apology or not, I think we both know those towers would still be standing if Marky Mark had been on the plane. I mean, he’s got a whole Funky Bunch at his disposal. He’s virtually untouchable.
What, Lindsay Lohan, unprofessional? This is the first I’m ever hearing of this. Us Magazine says:
Playboy’s newest cover girl Lindsay Lohan has canceled an upcoming promotional appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres Show that was scheduled to tape on December 13.
Currently on vacation in Hawaii, the 25-year-old actress missed her flight back to Los Angeles, a show rep confirms.
Never mind that that Russian hacker leaking her cover has already cost Playboy thousands and forced Hefner to move newsstand sales up a week early. Never mind that she was contractually obligated to do the interview. It posed a slight inconvenience to her. And since 9/11, nobody will hold a fucking plane for anybody anymore. I think we can all agree, her hands were really tied here.
Interview magazine has Scarlett Johansson doing the semi-androgynous S&M thing on the cover of their December issue. Apparently Scarlett Johansson can get away with leather lederhosen, but when I wear something like that it’s “indecent exposure” and I get maced.
Ten more victims have come forward since former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was charged with 40 counts of sexually abusing young boys through his Second Mile foundation. I haven’t really wanted to talk about this, because it makes me fucking sick to my stomach, but Sardusky spoke out for the first time via a phone interview with Bob Costas last night, and I thought you’d be interested in what he had to say. Particularly the part about “horsing around” with boys in the shower, which he now admits in retrospect “may have been a mistake.” The NY Times says:
Sandusky said he was innocent of the charges against him and declared that he was not a pedophile. He did acknowledge, “I shouldn’t have showered with those kids.”
“I could say that I have done some of those things,” he said of the accusations against him. “I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without intent of sexual contact.”
He added: “I enjoy being around children. I enjoy their enthusiasm. I just have a good time with them.”
My only consolation in all this is imagining him being the receiving end of that same kind of “enthusiasm” and “horsing around” in a prison shower. I hope his asshole reaps everything he sowed.
In his controversial interview by NBC that was taken days before his guilty verdict, Dr. Conrad Murray claims that Michael Jackson wet the bed. Gee, file that one under “Information I didn’t want to hear”. Female First says,
Despite being 50 years old at the time of his death from acute Propofol intoxication in 2009, the ‘Thriller’ singer’s personal doctor, Conrad Murray claims he regularly “peed the bed”.
Speaking in documentary ‘Michael Jackson and the Doctor: A Fatal Friendship’ Conrad, who was found guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of the late singer on Monday (07.11.11) said: “The bedroom that he slept in I had to persuade him, eventually to have it cleaned.
“He peed the bed. It did not smell good. It was mildew, and I had to get it clean.”
Dr. Murray also says he believes the singer may have had a psychological problem that caused him to wet himself, adding: “Who would ever believe that a man his age would still be wetting his bed?”
Also in the documentary which members of Michael’s family and the executors of his estate have attempted to stop from airing in the US later today (11.11.11) Dr. Murray claims he was the ‘Beat It’ star’s only friend.
He said: “I went there to take care of a healthy man, who said he was fine, to just keep surveillance. But once I got in there I was entrapped.
“He had very close acquaintances, but friends he did not have. He told me, ‘I’ve found one friend, which is you’.”
Saaad. Michael Jackson went from a very talented singer at the top of his game to that guy who doesn’t have any friends and wets the bed. Sounds kind of like me actually, minus the part where I started at a high point. When you earn a name like “Betsy Wetsy” early on in childhood, it kind of dampens any motivation to succeed.
Cat Deeley in Hawaii, who probably doesn’t wet the bed:
After the “pumpkin patch incident” earlier this week where she got kicked out for acting like a total slut, Courtney Stodden along with creepy pedophile husband Doug Hutchinson slurred her way through an explanation of what really went down when she sat down with Dr. Drew.(the other moms were jealous). Says Daily Mail,
Her upcoming appearance on Dr. Drew is designed to explain her racy Pumpkin Patch appearance last weekend.
But Courtney Stodden appears to make matters worse for herself as she slurs her way through the interview on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers, alongside her 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchinson.
In a sneak preview of the sit-down, the 17-year-old is seen with garbled speech and consistently fidgets as she perches herself on the addiction medicine specialist’s couch.
Dressed in a revealing pink mini dress, her behaviour can only be described as odd.
Even Doug himself is forced to interject at numerous times, when the teen bride attempts to speak on her own behalf.
In the clip, the pair explain the incident, which lead to the teenage bride being asked to leave the PG13 event after furious parents complained about her inappropriate behavior.
Doug confirms that they were indeed kicked out of the event.
‘One thing about the pumpkin patch fiasco; we were kicked off the pumpkin patch,’ Doug explains.
‘We went to pick out pumpkins the other day… Courtney was dressed as you saw her in sort of the Daisy Duke like thing.’
‘Was she kicked out for the attire?’ asks Drew.
As Doug repeats the question and before he can answer Drew, Courtney interjects. Posing and pouting, she is seen slurring her words.
‘The women were coming up to the manager and complaining,’ she says .
‘Because of the kids?’ Drew asks.
‘Because of the kids,’ Courtney replies sarcastically, making quotation mark gestures with her fingers as she sways back and forth on the couch.
Doug is then seen once again taking over, with the occasion clap and ‘woo-hew’ thrown in by Courtney.
The Green Mile actor tells Drew that there were people at the patch who were enjoying their appearance.
‘And their cleavage was hanging out quit a bit,’ Courtney once again butts in.
Courtney was asked to leave the pumpkin patch in Valencia, California last weekend, due to her inappropriate attire and behaviour.
“Pumpkin patch princess”, huh? Someone should really pitch the idea to Disney. Their lineup of Disney Princesses is really lacking in PVC boots, silicone and Parkinson’s-like movements.
Here’s Sandra Bullock at the 2011 amfAR Inspiration Gala, doing “frosted eyeshadow” right:
Steven Tyler called in to the Today Show this morning to address rumors that his fall in the shower yesterday was precipitated by a booze-and-pill bingefest. According to TMZ:
Tyler [said], “I get that people think that [I was using again] … It still bothers me a little, but it’s something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life.”
He added, “We flew last night from Paraguay after that incident and we’re in Argentina for two hours. And anyone who knows anyone who uses substances wouldn’t be up at this hour having a talk with Matt Lauer and the rest of America.”
Moments later, Matt asked, “But you’re clean and sober, that’s not the issue?”
Tyler replied, “No, it’s not the issue.”
Well, at the very least, I can finally stop wondering what Janice Dickinson would look like as zombie-fied Lloyd Christmas from “Dumb & Dumber.” I know that one’s probably been keeping you up nights, too.
In a recent interview with Parade magazine, Brad Pitt made the mistake of admitting that he “wasn’t living an interesting life” while married to Jennifer Aniston and that he spent most of their marriage “trying to pretend it was something that it wasn’t.” Now Jennifer is of course demanding a public apology from him, because it’s not like she talked about their marriage and Brad Pitt in every other interview she’s ever fucking done. Oh, wait. Us Magazine says:
42-year-old ex-wife [Jennifer Aniston] got wind of the catty comment [and] “was annoyed,” a pal close to the actress says. “She thought it was rude and inappropriate.”
Team Aniston — her agent and publicists — “went ballistic,” a Pitt insider reveals, and angrily reached out to Pitt’s camp.
“They got his team involved and Brad was read the riot act,” the source says. “We think he’s jealous she’s in love.”
Within 24 hours, Pitt had surprisingly released a statement lamenting that his words were misinterpreted, and that his former love “is an incredibly giving, loving and hilarious woman.”
Sure, her new boyfriend’s hogging the umbrella, and yes, his jeans are tighter than hers, and maybe he’s wearing more jewelery than she is, but Justin Theroux is still a man. He may not be attractive, talented or interesting, and he may give off a creepy Adam Lambert vibe, but he clearly loves Jennifer Aniston‘s credit cards. Eat your heart out, Brad Pitt.
“Star Wars” actress and Jenny Craig spokesperson Carrie Fisher revealed her fifty-pound weight loss and a brand-new face on “The Today Show” this morning. The Daily Mail says:
The actress has shed 50lbs in nine months since becoming the face of diet company, Jenny Craig.
But some couldn’t help but notice that her face, as well as her body, seems to have undergone a transformation of sorts.
While she kept quite about her rejuvenated features, she was certainly forthcoming about her decision to lose weight.
Carrie’s new face looks comes courtesy of Botox, cheek and lip fillers, an eyebrow lift and maybe even a neck tuck. I hate it. She looks pissed off the whole time she’s talking because her face only moves from about a third of the way down. It’s like she’s grimacing her way through the interview. Granted, I would be grimacing too if I were sitting three feet from Ann Curry, but that’s not really the point. The point is that Carrie’s had more work done than the Millennium Falcon. High five!
Turns out that Taylor Momsen IS just as greasy and nasty as she looks. And it’s not an act, either, because she quit acting, remember? The Daily Mail says:
The 18-year-old Gossip Girl star and singer recently revealed in an interview with Elle magazine that sometimes she doesn’t wash.
When asked what sort of beauty products she takes with her on tour, she said: ‘I tend not to bring a lot — [just] a lot of black eyeshadow. A lot of the time you don’t have time to shower.
Even truck stop hookers have the decency to hit the Mapco sink and a couple of baby wipes between johns. Why? I’m gonna give you one word — “seepage.” Process that for a minute. And now imagine that seepage has been encased in vinyl hot pants and fishnets and broiling in crotch sweat every night for a week straight. Having sex with her would be like dipping your dick in a damn car battery.
Performing with her band The Pretty Reckless last month:
