Sorry for the late start guys, it’s Sonya and I’ll be filling in today!

Boy George has been sentenced to 15 months in jail, but unfortunately, not for the abomination that is called Do You Really Want to Hurt Me (thanks for setting me straight, Arthur!). It seems like ol’ Georgie has to pay for a “male escort” these days, and even then, has to resort to handcuffing them to a wall to keep them in his apartment. BBC News reports,

The singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd, denied the charge and claimed the victim, Norwegian Audun Carlsen, 29, had stolen photos from his laptop.

O’Dowd, 47, admitted handcuffing him to a wall in April 2007 but said he did so in order to trace the missing property.

Judge David Radford told the singer he was guilty of “gratuitous violence”.

Judge Radford said: “Whilst I accept that Mr Carlsen’s physical injuries were not serious or permanent, in my view there can be no doubt that your premeditated callous and humiliating handcuffing and detention of Mr Carlsen shocked, degraded and traumatised him.

“He was deprived of his liberty and human dignity without warning or proper explanation to him of its purpose, length or purported justification.”

Oh sure, like a male prostitute isn’t used to being handcuffed and degraded. You don’t volunteer to be a paid butt buddy to earn self-esteem and social standing, do you?

Boy George with friends and family at the courthouse:

Sorry for the late start today, guys. We had a massive storm during the night that knocked out the power until early this afternoon. Fortunately, I had an entire bottle of Old Grandad around and a Mister Mister cassette in the Walkman, so my morning wasn’t a total waste. When life gives you lemons, get piss-drunk off cheap whiskey, I always say. Feel free to pass that one off as your own.

Anyway, down to business: Gary Dourdan — the black guy on CSI arrested last month for heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drug possession after he passed out in his car on the wrong side of the road — went to court yesterday to be tried for his offenses. See if you can guess how much jail time you get for possessing four Schedule I and II narcotics and failing to yield at a crosswalk because you’re sleeping in your fucking car. According to the great and impartial state of California, that would be none. TMZ says

Gary Dourdan pleaded guilty to two of the felony possession charges against him and won’t have to serve any jail time. The first charged against him, for having heroin, was dropped. He pleaded guilty to the possession of coke and ecstasy charges.

Dourdan’s lawyer [says] he will enter a treatment program that consists of 30 hours of classes which usually meet once a week. The charges will be dismissed when he completes the program.

I think it’s safe to say that the only way a famous person will serve time in California is if they also have a beard and a turban and a flight plan detailing their plot to bring the Great Satan to its knees.