Kim Kardashian has decided she wants to branch out of the world of amateur porn and reality television to become a bonafide silver screen actress. Because so many have made that leap so successfully! E! Online says:

Leave it to the E! reality star to aim high for her dramatic debut.

“I would love to be in a Bond film—a Bond Girl!” Kim [said] as she walked into the Screen Actors Guild Awards. “There are a few offers on the table, but I definitely want to make the right decision for the right part.”

That doesn’t mean Kim isn’t considering other gigs. “I love acting,” she said. “It’s challenging for me, and I love it.”

Kim’s no actress, but she looks good in a bikini, and that’s all you need to be a Bond girl. It could work. She could even star in the sequel to Goldfinger, “Goldshower.” High five! Honestly, if she made this any easier, I’d be out of a job.

SAG Awards dress epic fail:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Supposedly, this hairy caterpillar* squatting so obscenely on Daniel Craig’s face is because of his role in the Broadway play “A Steady Rain”, which co-stars Hugh Jackman and begins previewing next week.  Honestly though, I refuse to accept that as a reasonable excuse.  This is not what James Bond is supposed to look like.  I mean Jesus, he looks like Martin Mull.  Colonel Mustard is no James Bond, Mr. Craig.  I strongly suggest you get that thing off your face posthaste, and never defile yourself this way again.  Good day, sir.  I SAID GOOD DAY!

*It was brought to my attention in the comments that a moustache of this calibre should be known as a “Dirt Squirrel”.  I apologise for this shocking gap in my follicular vocabulary.  Also: hee!

A prettier, less hirsute Daniel Craig:

Jennifer Aniston says she is tired of playing the proverbial girl-next-door role — she’s set her sights on being cast as a Bond girl. She told Elle magazine

“I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles. I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond. Glamour. Daniel Craig. Shitloads of fun.”

Hey, you know who else did a really great action/adventure movie? Brad and Angelina in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Maybe they could offer her a role in the sequel.

Jennifer promoting “Marley and Me” in London with Owen Wilson: