I guess being with Pete Doherty wasn’t enough to scare Kate Moss’ uterus into self-destructing, because she is reportedly 3 months pregnant with The Kills guitarist Jamie Hince’s spawn. Though, you’ve got to admit, he’s not much better looking than Pete Doherty, but at least he doesn’t look like a blobfish. He’s got more of a Smeagol before becoming Gollum look going on, my precious. Hopefully Kate can lay off the drugs and poppers for the rest of her pregnancy or she might give birth to a barrow-wight or something.

Kate and Jamie leaving Lily Allen’s gig at KOKO club in London. Is that a mole or a pimple on Jamie’s nose?

Supermodel Kate Moss was photographed with an obvious baby bump while on a date with her toad of a boyfriend earlier this week. The NY Daily News says

Normally a fan of skintight clothes, the 34-year-old is favoring baggy shirts, oversized coats and belly-blocking purses these days. Moss gave her nanny a huge Christmas bonus this year, telling her that her workload is expected to double in 2009.

The catwalker just returned from a holiday vacation in Thailand, where she was photographed with a cigarette in one hand and a Heineken in the other.

I’m sure that smoke and that beer were just part of her carefully orchestrated ruse to fool the paparazzi. It’s hard enough to smoke and not have some stranger make a big production of coughing and fanning the air and acting like you’re giving them cancer right then and there. Try lighting up with baby belly and see how far you get. Some jackass in a track suit actually slapped the cigarette out of my hand this one time I was pregnant and told me I had no right to expose my poor baby to carcinogens like that. So I of course made the point that if I wanted to, I could still legally have this baby diced into bits and vacuumed out of my snatch, so a little cigarette smoke was just chump change. Check and mate, asswipe!

With rumored fiance Jamie Hince in London::

Supermodel Kate Moss hit up Surin Beach in Thailand last week with The Kills’ guitarist Jamie Hince. I guess her bra never made it past customs. Assuming of course that that pink blobby thing under there is supposed to be a nipple on a breast. It could just as easily be a robust skin tag or an extra pinky toe growing out of a mound of fibrous connective tissues. Carnies have to come from somewhere, you know?