It would seem that Britney was unaware of sister Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy, because there’s video footage last night of her dismissing the paparazzi’s claims with a “My sister’s not pregnant. Whatever.” In her defense, Britney probably learned of her own pregnancy via the paparazzi and said the same thing. One person who did know? The company publishing mother Lynne Spears’ guide to parenting. According to People Magazine

“The book has been delayed indefinitely,” says a spokeswoman for Thomas Nelson, which publishes inspirational books and Bibles. It had been scheduled for a spring 2008 release and was put on hold [after] news hit that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn is pregnant with her boyfriend’s child.

I’m guessing Thomas Nelson finally recognized the tremendous waste of publishing a Lynne Spears guide to parenting. It’s the same reason nobody jumped at the chance to publish Quasimodo’s “Musings on Orthopedics” or Dog the Bounty Hunter’s “Field Guide to Racial Relations.” Most people are doing a pretty good job fucking up their kids on their own.

Britney Spears’ 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears announced yesterday that she’s pregnant. Suck on that, all you who said she’d always live in her sister’s shadow! According to People

Spears and her mother confirmed the pregnancy, saying she was 12 weeks along and the father is Jamie Lynn’s longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Aldridge’s mother confirmed it to TMZ. “It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected,” Jamie Lynn told OK!. “I was in complete and total shock and so was he. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me.”

Mother Lynne Spears had this to say:

“I didn’t believe it because Jamie Lynn’s always been so conscientious… She’s never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby.”

Jamie Lynn is the star of “Zoey 101,” one of Nickelodeon’s highest-rated shows. The studio execs issued the following statement:

“We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”

Read: That’s the sound of your career going straight down the shitter.

Boy, the trailer park apple doesn’t fall far from the proverbial white trash tree, does it? Now we just wait for her to shave herself bald, put on about fifty pounds and flap her beaver all around town in clothing two sizes too small. If it weren’t blasphemous and an insult to Baby Jesus, I’d say this was almost some kind of Christmas miracle. But it doesn’t exactly take the hand of the Lord to keep some teenage jerk off from pulling out in time or putting on a rubber. If it doesn’t have to do with smoting or a forty year constitutional in the desert, the hand of the Lord is usually noticeably absent ’round these parts. Unless you’ve got money on the Cubs or live in the panhandle of Florida, of course. Then the Lord’s hand has suckerpunched you in the kidneys more times than you can count.