Janet Jackson’s boyfriend of seven years Jermaine Dupri was conspicuously absent from Michael Jackson’s July 7th memorial service. Why the no-show? Us Magazine says
“His friends are telling people it’s over,” [says] a source. “They have been moving in different directions for a while.”
“You shouldn’t mix business with pleasure,” [another] pal explains. Dupri produced several tracks on her last two CDs. “Janet felt their lives were too crossed and they should have kept things separate. [Plus] Jermaine likes to be out there, mingling with everybody, and Janet’s more shy.”
Bless her heart. Her pedophile drug addict brother just died, marriage number 3 isn’t happening, her last two albums have tanked and her ass is as big as fucking Kansas. I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel right making fun of her considering the circumstances. It’s a little something I like to call “respect.”
Any of you still have a copy of that Us Weekly with Janet Jackson on the cover in a bikini and sharing her “secrets to staying slim and sexy?” I can’t find my copy anywhere. I think it’s safe to assume that she probably ate it. Because that’s what fat people do when they’re not busy sweating and clutching a stair rail for support. They eat magazines. Also little children. No, wait — that’s trolls. Well, now we’re just splitting hairs, really.
Janet “Ms. Jackson if You’re Nasty” Jackson was forced to cancel her show yesterday after collapsing during a soundcheck in Montreal . According to TMZ
Janet Jackson was rushed to a hospital yesterday in Montreal and had to cancel her show, according to her reps. The singer “got suddenly ill” during her sound check… and went to an unnamed hospital. She’s being monitored, but no other details of her condition are available.
Jackson canceled her show in Detroit on Friday at the last minute, citing “production constraints,” and rescheduled that show.
I would guess it was some kind of infection related to gastric bypass surgery. I mean, come on — we all know she’s had it done. You don’t drop more pounds than British Parliament on Hooker Extravaganza Wednesday with just the magic of exercise and protein shakes. That said, check out the above clip from her Vancouver show. Mainly, check out the back up dancers. Every time I see people like that, all I can think about is what their poor parents have to say when someone asks how their kid is doing. “Oh, he’s just great! Thanks for asking! Have you seen this concert clip? That’s my Timmy right there! On the left! No, not that one — the submissive in the tutu.” Their parents must all be so proud!
Tranny she-monster Janet Jackson was hospitalized earlier this week, but not because one of her undescended testicles burst through her abdomen like you probably assumed. Ms. Jackson-If-You’re-Nasty had herself a case of the flu! According to People Magazine
“She’s fine,” says the rep. “She’s just battling this crazy flu like everyone else. She did go to [the emergency room] at Cedars-Sinai [Medical Center] but was released after being treated for the flu-like symptoms.”
Sorry, the only people who go to the emergency room with the flu are infants, senior citizens, and people with AIDS. Fact. I don’t see any diapers or HoverRounds, so, obviously, she must have AIDS. It makes sense. Really, if she doesn’t look like “Gay Man with Perm Circa 1984″ I don’t know what does. Your mom, maybe? Zing! Well, fuck you, man. Jesus. I have the flu, okay?
