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Elizabeth Banks

The only thing worse than the cutouts on Elizabeth Banks’ dress is the color. It’s the same weird yellow that vitamins turn your pee. It’s also God’s way of letting you know if a frog is toxic. Everything about this dress tells birds “I taste bad and I will make you sick.”

Finds, fun, fashion, fails:

Katy Perry might be engaged to get divorced from John Mayer. (Huffington Post)

Brooke Mueller tested positive for meth, but naturally that doesn’t affect her custody rights. (Celebitchy)

Gaga says she doesn’t care that Madonna hates her and she’s sick of the comparisons. I say I don’t care and I’m sick of both of them. And so we are all connected in the great circle of life. (Evil Beet)

The Kardashians had a yard sale, so if you’re into spandex-based designer clothes that have been strained and stretched to their ultimate tensile strength, you really missed out. (Celeb Slam)

Presented without comment: Channing Tatum in a football uniform. (Socialite Life)

If you like vintage red sheath dresses and are a size 8, I just made your morning. (Modavanti)

Miley Cyrus continues her trite and cliched attempts at controversy by smoking a joint onstage at the MTV Europe Music Awards. (The Blemish)

Celebrities who turned down the Simpsons — including William Shatner and Bruce Springsteen! (Daily Stab)

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News

It was revealed last month that 25 years after she first modeled for the brand at 19, 44-year-old Christy Turlington is once again the face of Calvin Klein Underwear. She’s also the new face of Jason Wu and Prada. It’s nice to see fashion houses embracing women for their campaigns instead of just teenage girls. Sure, youth is beauty, but it’s a beauty without nuance or depth. Beauty at 40+ is beauty that has ripened into something else entirely, wizened by time and experience, more regal and sophisticated than the fresh-faced splendor of youth. All hail Christy Turlington, Queen of the Cougars!

About the interwebs….

Which of Sarah Jessica Parker’s dresses is worse — the Naeem Khan, or the Marc Jacobs? (Celebitchy)

Paula Deen is really, REALLY sorry: the interview. (Hollywood Rag)

If you’re a true patriot you’ll shop Made in the U.S.A. (Modavanti)

Wipeout turns 100 tonight: a video testament to the need for sports bras. (Seriously? OMG)

Ten insane movie theories, including the theory that “The Dark Knight Rises” contains trigger words that set off government agents to mastermind the Sandy Hook shooting. (Mandatory)

Simon Cowell advises Justin Bieber to take a year off so he doesn’t end up like Amanda Bynes. (Evil Beet)

Helen Flanagan’s “private” photos were stolen in a break-in. (Celeb Slam)

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