The only thing good I can say about these pictures of “Jersey Shore’s” Jenni “JWoww” Farley in a bikini is at least they’re not pictures of Deena in a bikini. Trust me, you really dodged a bullet there.
If you’re feeling brave, see Deena in all her 5’2″ 180 lb glory in a bikini after the jump:
I can’t imagine why JWoww is smiling at her vagina like that. I dunno… maybe it told a funny joke. One like, “Why do Italian men have mustaches? So they can look like their mothers!” or “Why do Italian men cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.” Or maybe she’s just smiling at it because she just finished picking all the nits out of her bush and her cooter finally doesn’t itch anymore. Crabs can really salt a girl’s game.
PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures
Asking you to choose between Coco and JWoww is like asking you to choose between hemorrhoids or anal warts. Neither one of them is that great, but at least JWoww’s tits aren’t rectangular. Coco’s look is not so much “cleavage” as it is “capsular contracture.” Gross.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Unless that rose happened to be painted over Jersey Shore’s JWoww’s nipples. Then it would probably smell like Ron Ron Juice and regret.
Arriving at the Wendy Williams show last Thursday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Because her fifteen minutes is rapidly tick-tocking away, Jersey Shore’s Jenni “JWoww” Farley revealed she is posing for the December issue of Playboy. E! Online says:
Just how close is the Jersey Shore star to closing the deal to strip down for the mag—and just how undressed will she get?
“Final offer is standing,” JWoww [said]. “Hopefully, it will go through.”
In other words, it’s happening, people! JWoww smiled again, “I’d like to say so.”
Still on the table is how much she’ll actually show. “I don’t know yet,” she said. “It hasn’t been talked about yet.”
Really, Playboy? I dunno… she looks more like Reader’s Digest material to me. I just don’t see it.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
They say your clothing says a lot about you. Like The Situation’s turtleneck here, for instance. It says to me, “I’m a virgin” and “chances are good there’s an twelve-sided die somewhere on my person,” and “please not the Texas wedgie.” It doesn’t come right out and say “I’m gay” per se, but I think we can all agree it’s pretty heavily implied.
More of The Situation at 17 (thumbs 1 &2), plus Jenni “JWoww” Farley (thumbs 3-6) and Pauly D (the rest):
“Jersey Shore’s” Jenni “JWoww” Farley might not have a college education or a belly button (see above), but that hasn’t stopped her from demanding an exorbitant amount of money to get drunk and show off her shitty implants. Us Magazine reports:
The cast of Jersey Shore is very close to signing on the dotted line for an enormous pay raise for the show’s third season.
Season-two production on MTV’s reality hit was stalled by contract negotiations. [The] housemates had asked for $30,000 an episode (a 200%) raise — and MTV countered “with a number that’s close to that figure.”
Just to reiterate, thirty grand an episode for that thing up there. I wouldn’t waste five bucks on the shotgun shell to shoot it. It looks like Aldous Huxley’s vision of a Brave New World was all wrong. Somehow, the Epsilons came out on top, and the Alphas are stuck behind a computer writing about them.
You’ll finally get to see JWoww’s… um, “wow,” because nekkid pics of “Jersey Shore” star Jenni Farley are currently being shopped around to the highest bidder. According to Radar Online
The photos of Jwoww being shopped leave NOTHING to the imagination.
In one photo, she is facing the camera, topless. It’s shot from the waist up and will certainly not disappoint her male fans.
A second photo shows Jwoww slightly turned, but with her back mainly toward the camera. She is wearing a skimpy wrap around her waist but that does not obscure the rear view!
The third photo is a full length topless frontal shot, where Jwoww is again wearing a small wrap around her waist and boots.
Sounds good, but how will we be able to know that they are real, bonafide naked pics of a Jersey Shore cast member when we see them? There are a lot of convincing photoshop forgeries out there. Well, don’t you worry, boys and girls. That’s why I’m here. I did a little research and discovered there are several key ways to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic.
THE TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR JERSEY SHORE NAKED PICS ARE AUTHENTIC
10. They leave an oily residue on your monitor
9. All the photos are watermarked with the letters “GTL”
8. When you click on the thumbnails, Ronnie comes out of nowhere and suckerpunches you in the back of the head
7. You aren’t sure if you’re looking at a cast member or a post-op tranny
6. After you look at them, you find a bowl of “haterade” under the bed
5. Snooki’s date puked on them
4. They come with the warning “May stain clothing or skin; wearing gloves is recommended.”
3. They smell like pickles
2. There’s a crazy Israeli girl with glasses hiding in the lower left hand corner
and the number one way to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic:
1. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, well, then… it’s probably just the house phone. Hey, better luck next time!
Leaving LAX with the rest of the cast:
Arriving at L.A. hotspot Voyeur:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin Online
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