Jennifer Morrison, who is in Star Trek for all of about three minutes as Kirk’s mother, is in the new issue of “Men’s Fitness” magazine.  She’s also on the show “House” but even though I love Hugh Laurie, I can’t stand that show so I never watch it.  That’s the sum total of my knowledge about her.

I haven’t the foggiest notion why there’s a photo spread of a woman in a magazine called “Men’s Fitness”.  I know Americans have a tendency toward a sedentary lifestyle, but this is pretty ridiculous.  If this is a fitness magazine’s idea of how to raise your heart rate I’m thinking you’re not really gonna get very fit reading their articles.  Anyway, the pictures are all kinda small, but they’re of a scantily clad lady so I figured y’all will dig deep and find a way to suffer through.

Jennifer Morrison in the June/July issue of “Men’s Fitness”:

DT magazine has some kind of pinup theme for their April ‘09 issue, apparently.  I didn’t actually read any of the details, because it was all in Spanish and my Spanish is approximately at the level of a remedial toddler from Cordoba.  Hell, I’m barely even literate in English.  I don’t know what you bitches want from me.  Just shut up and look at the pictures of ladies in lingerie.

The header image is Molly Sims.  Below, from left to right: Kate Hudson, Cindy Crawford, Elisha Cuthbert, Kate Walsh and Jennifer Morrison.

The Emmy Awards happened last night.  It was their 60th anniversary, so they decided to celebrate with the most boring show in the history of the universe, hosted by the shanty town of tool sheds pictured above.  Okay, so Heidi Klum isn’t a complete tool shed, at least comparatively.  She is, however, dressed like a lunatic.  There’s some sort of inexplicable grandma shawl, and her earrings look like they’re attacking her face.  I guess it’s fine though, since she only wore this getup for about fifteen minutes.  I stopped keeping track of her wardrobe changes after the third or fourth time I fell asleep.  I’ve seen class plays at elementary schools that were more entertaining than the Emmys.

Because I am a giver and I suffer for you, I watched the entire sideshow of somnolence and I can tell you that there were exactly three funny moments.  Jesus, the show was boring.  Josh Groban did this… I don’t even know, it was some kind of singing thing that felt like what would happen during a telethon in hell, and it lasted for about eleven and a half hours.  I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.  Oh look, Christina Hendricks is here to help!

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