This week’s issue of Page Six Magazine has an article entitled “Is Jeremy Piven the Biggest Jerk in Showbiz?” In a word, yes:

During the Page Six photo shoot for his role in the “Speed the Plow,” he initially refused to pose for a standard head shot, sniping, “This isn’t my first time on the merry-go-round. You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre.”

After an hour or so, Piven finally let out a “gutteral moan” and “ripped the sleeves off his Armani shirt” to produce the photo above.

This guy is a douche, but he’s the worst kind of douche — the one who can’t be convinced that he’s anything short of fucking spectacular. The kind that angles the rearview mirror so he can admire his reflection while driving and who wears leopard print bikini briefs and sleeps on black satin sheets. If you could somehow choke down enough Maxim magazine and Summer’s Eve feminine wash to give yourself diarrhea, then look in the bowl after your asshole cooled down, I guarantee you’d find Jeremy Piven staring back up at you, giving you the ol’ “finger gun and wink” and spraying on more Tom Ford cologne. That’s when I’d start slamming the lid on his head until I saw blood and pray he goes down on the third flush.

Sure, Entourage is a show on HBO, but so was Arli$$:

While I find their periodical the literary equivalent of Jeremy Piven waving around a turd on a stick, Maxim magazine is gracing us with a list of the World’s Unsexiest Women in their next month’s issue. Rounding out the top five are Britney Spears (#5), Madonna (#4), Sandra Oh (#3), Amy Winehouse (#2) and Sarah Jessica Parker. Notice anything curious about their list? Britney Spears is number five. SJP might have a horseface and a mole you could land a chopper on, but I’d still have sex with her before I’d get anywhere near Britney’s bologna casserole. I would also have sex with hobo or a hot curling iron before Britney, so… Catch-22. I think the real question here is ‘Would you have sex with Jeremy Piven?‘ And the answer to that is “I’d rather stuff my vagina full of dynamite and head for that big mattress in the sky.” Money, baby!

SJP filming in Central Park last week: