While I find their periodical the literary equivalent of Jeremy Piven waving around a turd on a stick, Maxim magazine is gracing us with a list of the World’s Unsexiest Women in their next month’s issue. Rounding out the top five are Britney Spears (#5), Madonna (#4), Sandra Oh (#3), Amy Winehouse (#2) and Sarah Jessica Parker. Notice anything curious about their list? Britney Spears is number five. SJP might have a horseface and a mole you could land a chopper on, but I’d still have sex with her before I’d get anywhere near Britney’s bologna casserole. I would also have sex with hobo or a hot curling iron before Britney, so… Catch-22. I think the real question here is ‘Would you have sex with Jeremy Piven?‘ And the answer to that is “I’d rather stuff my vagina full of dynamite and head for that big mattress in the sky.” Money, baby!

SJP filming in Central Park last week: