Christina Hendricks for Vivienne Westwood Jewelry

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First there were rumors that Mad Men was going to be canceled, and then there were rumors that two yet-unnamed members of the show’s cast are being cut, but I can think of two reasons Christina Hendricks’ character isn’t going anywhere. I’m talking about her on-screen magnetism and the potential that her affair-spawned pregnancy affords the next season, of course. Honestly, you need to get your mind out of the gutter sometime.

At the launch of Vivienne Westwood’s Palladium Jewellery Collection in L.A. last night:

Lindsay Lohan Stole Another Necklace

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Lindsay Lohan is a compulsive liar and a thief (see here, here, here and here), so when she went “shopping” at a Venice Beach jewelery store back in January, naturally a necklace went missing. And right after the cops obtained a search warrant for Lindsay’s home yesterday, the necklace miraculously reappeared. Weird coincidence, that. TMZ says:

Lindsay Lohan has just turned a super-expensive piece of jewelry over to cops that landed her in the middle of a police investigation.

Law enforcement sources [reveal that] last week the owner of an L.A. store filed a police report, claiming a $2,500 necklace was stolen from her business. The store surveillance video shows Lindsay wearing the necklace before it disappeared, although it’s unclear if the video actually shows Lindsay walking out of the store with the jewelry.

Cops got a warrant to search Lindsay’s home, but last night — before the warrant could be served — one of Lindsay’s associates turned the piece over to the cops.

This is just like that time Winona Ryder stole all those dresses from Saks Fifth Avenue. The only difference is, Winona could actually afford to pay for the things she stole. The only way Lindsay could afford a twenty-five hundred dollar necklace right now is if blowjobs and Marlboro Lights suddenly became legal tender.

Out on the day in question:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Jessica Simpson Plans Jewelry Line

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Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line

Jessica Simpson is expanding–and no, this time it’s not her waist. Digital Spy reports:

Jessica Simpson is planning to become a jewellery designer, according to reports.

After releasing her own fashion collection, the singer and reality TV star is allegedly in talks with jeweller Pascal Mouawad to create a new exclusive line.

An insider told Fox News: “Jess and her mom are really pushing the wedding rings. Jess wants her own line but Pascal isn’t so keen on that.

“He wants to work with her, but definitely doesn’t think wedding rings would be appropriate for Jessica.”

Yeah no shit, Sherlock. She can hold onto a man like Stephen Hawking can hold onto a fish. Not exactly inspirational for eternal love. Personally I was thinking more along the lines of little golden cowbells wreathed with forget-me-nots. Stick with what you know, I always say.

Arriving at LAX:

Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line Jessica Simpson plans jewelry line

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin.com

Kourtney Kardashian Got Robbed

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kourtney kardashian robbed

Kourtney Kardashian was robbed, and I’m not just talking of any good looks or discernible talent. I mean like she was robbed-robbed. According to TMZ

Kourtney returned to her Calabasas townhome Saturday night at about 8:30 PM and discovered the break-in.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry was reportedly taken, [including] Kourtney’s Cartier watch worth around $30,000, an expensive Rolex owned by her boyfriend, and diamond hoops.

The home is in a gated community.

I bet the robbers were able to sneak past the guards at the gate by hiding in the crook of Kim Kardashian’s ass the last time she visited. Hell, you could probably fit another two look-outs and a getaway car in there if you got the angle just right.

Leaving a hair salon last week:

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PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Lindsay Lohan Stole More Jewelry

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lindsay stolen jewelery

Lindsay Lohan has been accused of stealing over two million dolllars’ worth of jewelry. Again. That’s the second time in less than three months, for those of you keeping count. According to Radar Online

Lindsay had the jewels on loan from swanky Beverly Hills store, XIV Karats, from over two months ago but when asked to return the pricey baubles the Mean Girls star fessed up that she didn’t have them.

“Lindsay claimed that they had been stolen from her safe,” a source tells RadarOnline.com “They’ve disappeared. XIV are not happy about it. The jewels were in Lindsay’s care and they were only on a loaner, they were expected to be returned. If something is not resolved soon there will be legal action taken.”

And conveniently, her home was broken into just this week and her safe was stolen after she “forgot” to lock the door and staff “forgot” to set the security alarm! What a timely coincidence. Please. Come off it already! We all know the jewelry was traded for coke in some Mexican border town pawn shop. Seriously, if this little scheme of hers were any more contrived, it would read like a fucking Diablo Cody screenplay. Ha ha ha! Buuurrrrn, muthafuckas!

Looking like a crackwhore leaving some club last night:

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PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News