Kourtney Kardashian was robbed, and I’m not just talking of any good looks or discernible talent. I mean like she was robbed-robbed. According to TMZ

Kourtney returned to her Calabasas townhome Saturday night at about 8:30 PM and discovered the break-in.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry was reportedly taken, [including] Kourtney’s Cartier watch worth around $30,000, an expensive Rolex owned by her boyfriend, and diamond hoops.

The home is in a gated community.

I bet the robbers were able to sneak past the guards at the gate by hiding in the crook of Kim Kardashian’s ass the last time she visited. Hell, you could probably fit another two look-outs and a getaway car in there if you got the angle just right.

Leaving a hair salon last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Lindsay Lohan has been accused of stealing over two million dolllars’ worth of jewelry. Again. That’s the second time in less than three months, for those of you keeping count. According to Radar Online

Lindsay had the jewels on loan from swanky Beverly Hills store, XIV Karats, from over two months ago but when asked to return the pricey baubles the Mean Girls star fessed up that she didn’t have them.

“Lindsay claimed that they had been stolen from her safe,” a source tells RadarOnline.com “They’ve disappeared. XIV are not happy about it. The jewels were in Lindsay’s care and they were only on a loaner, they were expected to be returned. If something is not resolved soon there will be legal action taken.”

And conveniently, her home was broken into just this week and her safe was stolen after she “forgot” to lock the door and staff “forgot” to set the security alarm! What a timely coincidence. Please. Come off it already! We all know the jewelry was traded for coke in some Mexican border town pawn shop. Seriously, if this little scheme of hers were any more contrived, it would read like a fucking Diablo Cody screenplay. Ha ha ha! Buuurrrrn, muthafuckas!

Looking like a crackwhore leaving some club last night:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News