An unidentified “collector” who allegedly discovered a Jimi Hendrix sex tape in a box of rock memorabilia has sold the rights to the tape to Vivid Entertainment, the largest purveyor of porn in the world. For only $39.95, you can watch a visibly intoxicated black guy who might or might not be Hendrix fumble around with two bushy brunettes. It was the seventies, folks. Pubic hair was de riguer. According to the New York Times

The film shows a naked man who resembles Hendrix, wearing a bandanna in his Afro, having sex with two brunettes in a dimly lighted bedroom. [sic] The man appears to be on drugs or heavily intoxicated. His full face appears on screen for only a few seconds, with his eyes closed. But his hands, bedecked with rings, roam large on the screen at times. The film has no audio.

Two white people busting their asses while some incapacitated black guy just sits on his sounds less like a “sex tape” and more like “affirmative action.” If I wanted to see that, I could just masturbate to the Penn/Stump v City of Oakland transcripts I downloaded from the Internet. Last time I checked, you could still do that for free. In your fucking face, Vivid Entertainment!