Jun 24, 20093

Kristen Stewart Falls Down: The Video

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The only thing I like more than video of people falling down is video of people throwing up. Catching them throwing up while falling down is pure comedy gold, but my sister got all upset the last time I put her wedding video on the internet. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.

Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett in “The Runaways”:

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Jun 11, 20091

This is Not My Idea of a Cherry Bomb

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Kristen Stewart with new haircut for "The Runaways"

I’ve been ignoring this whole Runaways movie business for awhile, hoping it would just magically disappear.  I’m not sure precisely where the flaw was in my master plan, but things went awry at some point and the movie version of The Runaways starring Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning is still happening.  Stewart and Fanning are currently undergoing “vocal training” in preparation for their roles as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, respectively.

I’m pretty sure that if you got a chimpanzee messed up on meth and put it on rollerskates with letters stuck to the wheels and then sent it skidding out into an oil slick, it could probably manage to stamp out a better idea than a movie starring a stoner Twilight retard and the little girl from Charlotte’s Web as the kickass chicks who sang “Cherry Bomb” and “Queens of Noise”.

Dakota Fanning arriving at a studio for voice lessons whilst playing dress-up in big girl shoes:

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Kristen Stewart with her hair newly dyed black and cut in Joan Jett’s trademark shag:

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