The Daily Mail has a first-ever look at Portia de Rossi’s and Joely Richardson’s lesbian scenes in the upcoming season of “Nip/Tuck,” and boy are they hot. Like desert hot. You know, where everything is all parched and shriveled up and withered and unsexy. I believe I’ve kissed my little sister with more tangible passion. Also my own reflection and my dog on a dare. The only way the producers could have made this any less erotic is if they’d cast Estelle Getty and Rhea Pearlman instead of Portia and Joely. And even then it’d only be slightly worse, like “being attacked by a black bear” versus “being attacked by a black bear while Justin Timberlake’s ‘Futuresex/Love Sounds’ plays in the background.” You’re still pretty much screwed either way.

More dry, clinical lesbian action (all LSFW):